Green Apple Chapstick: Want One?

The first thing I got excited about at the BlogHer Conference last weekend wasn’t my shiny “Superwife” badge. It wasn’t the huge bag-o-swag I got upon registering. It wasn’t even the giant Statue-of-Liberty made entirely of Twizzlers (btw, wtf?)… it was the Pfizer booth in the Expo Hall. Which, I might add, is a shock since I happen to work for a competing pharmaceutical company (which shall remain nameless, of course).

Walking past the booth, I noticed a giant apothecary jar filled with Chapstick. I love Chapstick — no, I REALLY REALLY REALLY LOVE Chapstick… I seriously have one or two sticks in every single drawer, pocket, purse, wallet, cabinet, nightstand, corner… you get the point. I have every single flavor of chapstick that was ever made (except grape, bc I used it all when I was like ten and then they never rereleased it). In my stocking every year, Adam gives me about 50 new tubes of Chapstick. I am a Chapstickaholic. So naturally, I couldn’t help but sport a huge smile and run went to grab a stick for my purse. As I got a closer look at the jar, I nearly started hyperventilating when I saw that it was a new flavor of Chapstick that I’d never seen: GREEN APPLE.

Dude.

My favorite flavor of all time. Put into Chapstick. Superwife almost had a super heart failure. I could barely breathe when I asked the gal at the booth if I could have fifty a stick, and then almost passed out when she gave me two. Molly laughed at me the whole time. No seriously you guys… I reacted to the Chapstick with more awe and breathlessness than when I met ACmuthafuckinSlater.

ANYWAY… clearlyI was raised in a Chapstick-obsessed family, as evidenced by the following texts I received that night from my mom and sister:

 

 

The text from my sister nearly made my pee my pants… do you get to keep it, lol. Still laughing.

After forcing convincing Molly to give me all of her Chapstick, and sneaking over to the Pfizer booth multiple times per day, I ended up with 14 sticks. Stingy bastards. :)

Okay SO… since this new flavor of Chapstick doesn’t come out for another MONTH (and omg who can wait that long?), and because I’m in a “sharing is caring” mood… I’m giving one lucky Superwife fan a tube of this super-sacred balm. But only one, because I am nice but also very very greedy, and I have a lot of drawers in my house.

Super easy rules: Comment on this post and tell me your favorite flavor of Chapstick. Or, tell me what flavor you wish Chapstick would come out with. Mine was Green Apple, so now I can die happy.

I’ll pick a random winner on Friday, August 19. GO! 

Oh, and thanks again to my supersponsors Paragon/Dirtt and Bradley Reid, for sending me to BlogHer and subsequently supporting my Chapstick habit.