Genius (ridiculousness?) runs in my family

Look, I know that I’m ridiculous and that I tell ridiculous stories about my ridiculous life… but it TOTALLY RUNS IN MY FAMILY (and you know you love it) :

A very oooold email I just found from my sister (2007 maybe?)…

“So I am in the grocery store checkout line debating in my head whether I should play the grocery game* out to the car or take a cart. Well the bagger guy gives me a cart just in case. I push the cart out and stop by the doors to put it away because I KNOW I can make it out to the car**, with all 10-12 bags I might add.
Oh and by the way I look like poop. I am wearing stretched out jeans with a giant sweater that almost reaches my knees! I had also just took off my five fake elashes that I glue on every morning!***
Anyway I am in the middle of grabbing the last bag, my back is all hunched over and I am struggling, who do I see? John****! My ex boyfriend! UGH!
So he comes over to talk. He is saying hi and talking while I am holding what felt like six bags of straight spaghetti sauce on each arm. In which the whole time I KNEW he was looking at my missing eyelashes and my braces! Jeez have I gone down hill since I dated him! ha ha…
Since he has seen me I have half an eye worth of missing eyelashes, brown fried off hair, braces, 5-7 extra pounds of fat clinging to my butt and I drive a grandma car (not that he as seen me driving the car, but I figured I would throw that in for sympathy ha!) Anyway it made me laugh… thought I would tell you.
K well I am going to cook dinner to add on to the fat on my butt ha ha…”

 

 

Ok so… now for the explanations:

*My family plays the “grocery game”… where we see if we can get absolutely all of the groceries (or shopping bags) into the house in one trip. NO SECOND TRIPS!! (Except if there is milk jugs, laundry soap jugs or cat litter included. Or stupid-ass Costco boxes, even though I always try anyway but it doesn’t count if I can’t do it.)

**WE NEVER LOSE THIS GAME. And if we did, it would end with broken jars and laughing fits where we pee our pants. BUT I HAVE NEVER LOST (this game is especially fun when unloading the car after Christmas shopping). I I guess I should also mention this game is never played against anyone, just against the grocery bag demons… so you can totally play by yourself! It there is more that one person, the you’re automatically a team. BTW, Adam thinks this game is dumb, so I just play without telling him. :)

***My sister magically fried off half of the eyelashes on one of her eyes, so she had to wear fake lashes until they grew back. It really did look weird when she didn’t have them on, like something out of a horror movie. Ok maybe not that bad. (But kinda.)

****Name has been changed. I actually wrote this so long ago I don’t even remember the original name now.