Scene: My living room, playing Nintendo Wii with Adam, my Mom, Karlynn (sister, 13), Kendyl (sister, 10) & Billy (brother, 12). Billy & Kendyl are playing Wii tennis for the first time. They are super excited and hyped up on sugar of some kind. Everyone else is watching/computering/etc.

Nintendo Wii: Beep boop… boop…. beeeep…. beep boop…. Forty, Deuce!

(that means they’re tied at 40 points… I had to look it up.)

Kendyll (LOUDLY): WHAT’S A DOOSH?

Everyone (except Billy): Baaaaahaaaahaaahaaaa!!

Oddly enough, Karlynn laughs first and loudest of all.

Mom: It’s Doooose, baby. It means tie, same score. Doosh is something different.

Kendyll: What is it then?

Mom: Nothing. Keep playing. *pauses* Karlynn… why are YOU laughing?

Karlynn (shyly now): I dunno.

Mom: You don’t even know what that means.

Karlynn: I know.

Scene: Fred Meyer grocery shopping with Karlynn and my Mom.

Mom: Hey you two, come over here.

Me: Uh… why are we stopping in the condom aisle?

Karlynn: Baaaahaaaaahaaaahaa.

Mom: Jenny, grab the Massengill box down there on the bottom shelf

(This exact box!)

Me: uhhhhh… oohhhhhhhhh HAHAHAHAHA

Karlynn: What are we doing? Oh. My. God. WHAT ARE WE DOING?

Mom: Now, since you laughed so loud, I thought you should know what a douche really is… see it’s where you-

Karlynn: IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GROCERY STORE?? *bluuuuuuuuushing!!!*

Me: Ahhh…. I’m SO doing this to my kids.

My family rocks. :)

Side note: Way back a million years ago when I was 10, I remember sitting at the dinner table with my family (Mom, Dad, me, and 2 sisters Jessie and Sara, who were both 5 at the time) and one of the girls pissed me off somehow so I called her a dildo… and got sent to my room. I didn’t even know what it meant! Kids at school said it! So, I totally feel you Karlynn… I knew that word was bad, but not THAT bad! Now you’ll think differently next time you hear someone call someone a douchebag at school, eh? :)

Life in this house just never gets boring…

My husband and I, lazily watching TV recently…

TV Character: “that’s about as exciting as a douche commercial…blah blah blah…”

Me: “I don’t remember ever in my life seeing a douche commercial.”

Adam: “Sure you have. I’ve seen tons!”

Me: “WTF? Why would you even remember a douche commercial?”

Adam: “Um, DUH, Jenny. ‘Calgon, Take Me Away!’ You don’t remember that?? Gaah.”

Me: “Um, DUH, Adam… those were BATH SALT commercials. Weirdo. Did you think every time someone says ‘Calgon, take me away’ that they’re talking about douching?”

Adam: “I guess.”

Me: “Yeah, because that’s so relaxing. After a long hard day at work, I’m sure women all around the country go home thinking ‘Calgon Douche, Take Me Away!’… god you’re weird.”

Adam: “Women are an enigma. I have no idea if douching is relaxing or not. Women do weird things.”

Me: “NO ONE I KNOW DOUCHES!!!”

Hey, Calgon. Your commercials are apparently confusing to men. Revise, please.

…is it just me or does the new First Response Pregnancy Test commercial remind anyone else of the 7-Minute Abs clip from There’s Something About Mary? “No one gets a good ab workout in six minutes!!”

I can’t find the FR commercial, but this is the gist: “New! FIRST RESPONSE® Early Result Pregnancy Test can now detect the pregnancy hormone, hCG, 6 days before your missed period.  Patent pending, Polymeric Amplification Technology (PAT) allows only FIRST RESPONSE® to detect the pregnancy hormone at lower levels than ever before. It is the ONLY pregnancy test that detects the pregnancy hormone 6 days before the day of the missed period, which is one day sooner than any other test on the market.” (Taken from the First Response website)

It just sounds like such a silly selling point to me. If you’re pregnant, you’re pregnant, and you’ll know when you don’t get your damn period. Eh? Why pay more money? Hell, I stock up on Dollar Store tests, and I still get a negative response whether I use those or the $12 tests each month. Booo.

How fun, that we had to go buy DOG DIAPERS before we’re even able to think about BABY diapers. Blech.

But we actually did buy baby diapers… or toddler pullups, rather. Petco wasn’t open after 9pm for real doggie diapers and Tali started bleeding just a little after that time, so we had to run to Fred Meyer for the largest pullups we could find. Poor Tali. She absolutely hates them and thinks she’s in trouble.

I feel your pain, sweetie! I hate PMS too!!! 

And just when I thought that rusty old tin chest of his was empty, he goes and gives me his heart. xoxox

Me: Awwwwwwww *tear*. Your mom gave us a Valentine? That’s so sweeeeeeeeeet.

Adam: She does it every year, I don’t know whay you’re so suprised.

Me: And it’s so sweeeeeeeeet that she does it every single year. *tears*

Adam: Crimony. Did you read the card?

Me: Yes, it says “to my wonderful son and his special wife.” Isn’t that SO sweeeeeeeet? *teeeeaaaars*

Adam: “Special Wife” … It makes you sound like a drooler.

Me: *sigh* well, that’s one wasy to get me to stop crying, I guess.

Technically though, since there was delicious chocolate involved… that does make me a drooler.

Doc called today to say my Day-21 blood test results came back, and that it doesn’t look as though I responded very well to the first round of Clomid. My progesterone levels are still very low, and don’t indicate that I even ovulated this month. There’s still a small chance that I could be pregnant this cycle, but judging by my regular PMS symptoms that began today I’d venture to guess not.  

I’m SO looking forward to more drugs, needles, and emotion. Next month I’ll continue on the same dose of Clomid I took this month (50mg), and if we don’t have any luck that cycle then I’ll be given a higher dose.

And my POOR, POOR husband continues to complain daily about how he can’t eat spicy foods because he’s been forbidden by our doctor to take heartburn medication. *tear* 

I should also note that I am not a vegan… not sure if I mentioned that in my first post, but i thought it would be pertinent for past readers to know. THIS recipe, however, is at least vegetarian. :) So… heeeere we go:

Easy On-The-Go Quiche Cups

I think I first made these when a roommate of mine was on the South Beach diet a few years ago, so the original (base) recipe probably came from that diet plan. I love making these because they’re suuuper quick, and you can freeze them and re-heat for the next few mornings when you’re rushing out the door (to work, to the gym, to play, whatever)!

Prep Time: 5 min / Bake Time: 25 min / Total: 30MIN!

• 16oz liquid egg whites or egg substitute (I used 1 carton of the Kirkland Real Eggs from Costco)
• 1 cup shredded cheese (your choice; I used pepper jack today)
• 1/2 large white onion, diced
•  2 cups fresh spinach, chopped
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp fresh ground pepper
• Italian seasoning to taste (this is totally optional, but I add Italian seasoning to everything because I’m Italian!)

Preheat oven to 350. Grease a muffin pan; I used a 12-cup silicone muffin pan (no grease needed), but I’ve also used mini-muffin pans in the past for even smaller quiche-bites.  Combine all ingredients in a medium bowl & mix well with a fork. Spoon mixture evenly into muffin cups. Bake for 25 min (or until a knife comes out clean).   Voila!

*Note: this is only a very basic recipe. I’ve switched it up many times, adding veggies like bell peppers, mushrooms, red onions, chives, etc. Adam prefers me to add a few drops of hotsauce or red pepper occasionally. I’ve also used cheddar and mozzarella cheeses, and obviously this can be made using real eggs. I use the Costco egg whites because they have WAY less calories and I don’t have to separate the eggs. Have fun experimenting! :)

That’s ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY FOUR lip products. Not including the ones in my various purses (I counted an additional 13 in my current purse), and not including any chapstick. Chapstick is an entirely different post. :)

The funny thing to me is that they all are pretty much the same color. There’s like, two reds in there.

Clearly, I need to go out any buy new red lipstick. Justifiable, right? I’m sure Adam will understand (he tooooootally doesn’t hate Sephora with a mighty passion or anything…).