10 Radio-Popular Songs for SuperToddlers (plus some bonus suggestions)

My two girls are absolutely obsessed with music. Like, ALL MUSIC. Any time music comes on, they want to dance and sing at the top of their lungs. Now, I don’t think I’m alone in my frustration with all of the profanity, lewd content and general gross-ness of most music on the radio today, so I’ve been doing a little homework. I swear, every time I find a song with a great beat that the kids seem to LOVE, up pops a curse word, or a line that makes my eyes bug out. I recently read somewhere that Meghan Trainor’s “All About That Bass” was a song that’s got a “great message for girls”…. uh, yeeeeaaahhh… after hearing the lines “We know that sh*t ain’t real“, “Boys like a little more booty to hold at night“, and “Tell them skinny bitches that“… mmm NOPE. I mean, yes, overall that’s probably a good message for teen girls (basically that being skinny isn’t everything and you should be proud of your body), but the presentation lacks the G-rating I’m needing for my babes right now.

So… here are 10 radio-popular songs that I feel comfortable allowing my nearly-2-and-4-year-olds to listen to (links are to tunes on Spotify):

1.  Shake it Off – Taylor Swift – Oh holy hell, is this song catchy. We have probably broken the record for most-times-played-in-a-row on this one. The second the car engine starts on the way to drop Ellie off at school every day, Jamie is shouting at me from the backseat: “SHAKE! SHAKE! LISTEN SHAKE! SHAKE!” (Also, a GREAT message in this one. Shake it off, get back up, do it your own way.)

2. Happy – Pharrell Williams – Pretty sure every kid (okay every person) in the world starts wiggling when this song comes on. How can you not?? I can barely listen to this song in the car because I want to jump out of my seat and start dancing.

3. ROAR – Katy Perry – Catchy beat, zero profanity, and a great message for kids. A good one for them to scream at top volume.

4. Good Feeling – Flo Rida – Upbeat, happy, clean (surprisingly so, considering the artist).

5. We Found Love – Rihanna – Probably the cleanest song Rihanna has released. Unfortunately the video is NOT clean, so if you play music on YouTube for you kids, this may not be a good choice. On the radio or a Spotify playlist, however, this is a great dance tune with no profanity.

6. Good Time – Owl City & Carly Rae Jepson – Oh man… there was a good 8-12 month period in which this was the ONLY song Ellie would allow me to play. SO catchy (major ear worm, this one), and fun. I used to sing different words to the tune all the time – “Woke up with Ell-ie’s feet on my head… What’s up with that girl sneakin’ in my bed?” … still makes her giggle.

7. Steal My Kisses – Ben Harper – Love this one. Probably leaning toward the adult side, but I just chase and kiss and tickle my kiddos when this song is on and they think it’s hilarious.

8. Break Free – Ariana Grande – Yeah, it’s about a failed relationship, but it’s also about independence and it’s clean, catchy and fun to dance to.

9. Stronger – Kelly Clarkson – Super positive, and major girl-power lyrics. Another one the kids’ll want to scream-sing.

10. Cups – Pitch Perfect (Anna Kendrick) – Besides the mention of whiskey, this one is really fun. I actually taught myself how to do that whole cups rhythm with Disney princess cups, so I use it to sing the girls stuff like the Alphabet Song and many others… but they still love it when this one comes on the radio. And then they want to bang on cups LIKE RIGHT NOW.

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Here’s a few bonus songs as well – ones my kiddos ask for on a regular basis (daily), either to listen to in the car via Spotify or for me to sing to them in the evenings. I didn’t include them in the above list because most of them are not necessarily radio-popular, but boy do my girls love these:

1. September – Earth, Wind & Fire – That chorus a fuuuuuuun one. I love listening to Ellie belt it out.

2. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious – Julie Andrews – Because it’s super fun to try and say. Not sure I can even say it. But I do remember that when I was a kid I loved telling people that this “word” has 34 letters in it! (Side note – I also loved telling people that the longest REAL word in the world is antidisestablishmentarianism… at 28 letters. And I could spell it. BOOM.)

3. Heavenly – Harry Connick, Jr. – I often push HCJ on my girls. I’m pretty much in love with him as an artist, and I would have NO problems if Ellie & Jamie grew up loving him as well. This is a super-cute song about the sun and the moon falling love.

4. Be OK – Ingrid Michaelson – Although it seems to be about not-so-happy things, it’s got a happy and upbeat way about it. Ellie loves singing this one – there aren’t many words so it’s easy for her to get into.

5. WitchDoctor – David Seville & The Chipmunks – Jamie is SO into this song right now. “DOCTOR! DOCTOR!” She sings it while running around our living room a lot as well. “ooh eee ooh ah ah, ting tang, walla walla bing bang!”

6. Splish Splash – Bobby Darrin – Who doesn’t like a bath song? :)

7. Lollipop – The Chordettes -  Dead lord MAKE SURE you click on the Chordettes song with this title. Trust me.

8. What Does the Fox Say – Ylvis – No explanation needed. A ridiculous hit that makes absolutely no sense, yet all children go bananas whenever this song is played.

9. Real in Rio – Jamie Fox, Jessie Eisenberg, Anne Hathaway (from the Rio Soundtrack) – Jamie went through a 4-month phase where Rio was the only movie we were allowed to watch, and this song was the only one that would make her happy. I even had to turn it into a lullaby for her so I could sing it softly while putting her to sleep. (Actually… Ellie did that first. I copied her because it toooootally worked to calm Jamie down at bedtime.)

10. You Make Me Happy – Cathy Heller – SUCH a sweet song. I love it as a lullaby, and the girls like to sing along.

11. Wake Me Up Before You Go Go – Wham! – Fun for all ages. You’re made of stone if you don’t like JitterBug. :)

12. ANYTHING FROM FROZEN – Because, Disney wins everything.

 

12 Things I Don’t Like to Hear While Showering

Sometimes I try to shower while the kids are playing in Ellie’s room. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

Here are twelve things I definitely do not like to hear while trying to take that shower (and I especially do not like to hear them all during the SAME shower):

1. “Mom?” (I know, I know, but it’s always the start of bigger and badder…)

2. “Jamie just ate a booger.”

3. “Mommy! Jamie threw my pony in the toilet!”

4.”Here Mom… can you wash this pony that Jamie threw in the toilet?” (while throwing sopping wet pony into the shower)

5. “Mama! Poopy!”

6. “Hi. Jamie bath too. Want in.”

7. “Mom? Can you open this?” (hands me a popsicle)

8. “MOM! Jamie took her diaper off!”

9. “Mama. I peed.”

10. “JAMIE PEED ON MY BED!!”

11. “MOOOOOOOOOM! Jamie just poured bubble bath in the toilet!”

12. “Mom are you done yet? It’s crazy out here.”

Yes dear. *sigh* It IS crazy out there.

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Mom-Cast: A Morning at the Superhouse

I think that if I attached a microphone to my shirt and recorded everything I say from 7am-10am, on a weekend when I’m the only adult in the house with two munchkins… It would make a really good podcast. Hilarious probably. It’s just a constant stream of ridiculousness that comes out of my mouth.

“Gooooooooood mor— aw dang is that poop?”

 

“Please don’t pull your sister around by the neck of her shirt.”

 

“Purple? Or blue? Purple? Purple? Purple? Blue? Blue? Can you …please just pick some pants?”

 

“Nonoonono standing on the table. No walking on the table. No dancing on the table!!”

 

“Pancakes are not brushes. They go in your mouth. No. No. No. No it’s not a brush. No.”

 

“Don’t touch the remote controls. Don’t – NONO! No remotes! NONO!”

 

“Why is there yogurt in your hair?”

 

“Did you pee?”

 

“Don’t eat crayons. Crayons are not food. Don’t e–NO!”

 

“Do you want a juice? Red or green? We don’t have blue. Red or green. No blue. We don’t have blue. There is no blue. There’s no blue.”

 

“What is that on your pants? Chapstick? Where did you find Chapstick?”

 

“Ohmigosh DON’T STAND ON THAT!!”

 

“Ewwwwyuckyyuckyyuckyewwww nononono we don’t touch the plunger!”

 

“Why is there a book in the toilet?”

 

“Who gave the dog fruit snacks?”

 

“I’m not sure you need THAT much toilet paper, sweetie.”

 

“You can’t brush your hair if it’s in a ponytail.”

 

“Please don’t dance on the stairs, you’re scaring Mommy.”

 

“Don’t put that in your mou– NO NOT ‘mmmmm’ THAT’S A HAIR CLIPPY. No ‘mmmmm’. Yucky.”

 

“Why are you naked?”

 

“Did you get that out of the garbage? Ew.”

 

“How many cookies did you eat? 3? 4? 10? Did you count? Why didn’t you ask me first?”

 

“Can I please have that? That’s Mommy’s. We don’t play with those (Sharpie) markers, they’re Mommy Markers.”

 

“Play-doh is for playing. Don’t put it in your mou– yuck! YUCK! Spit it out! Spit!”

 

“HOT! THAT’S HOT! DON’T TOUCH THAT! HOT COFFEE!”

 

“Nononononononononono NONONONONONO JAMIE!!! Don’t touch the DVD player!”

 

“Yes you can jump on the couch.”

 

“Keep your mouth shut if you’re going to jump off the couch, you might bite your tongue.”

 

“Did you bite your tongue?”

 

“Did you hurt your foot? Does it hurt really bad? Should we cut it off?”

 

“Honey I was just kidding. I would never cut you. I promise. No, I will never cut off your foot. I PROMISE.”

 

“I promise I’ll never cut off Jamie’s foot either. I won’t cut anyone’s foot off, ever.”

 

“SINGALONG!!!! LET IT GOOOOO– oh, I’m not allowed to sing? Why? I’m too OLD?”

 

“Yes you can have some of my water. Just don’t squee– *sigh*… here’s a towel.”

 

“Please stop handing me your boogers. You know where the tissue is.”

 

“What is that? A booger? Why are you just standing there holding it?”

 

“Do I hear running water? Why is the tub running? WHY IS THE TUB RUNNING?”

 

“Are your panties on backward?”

 

“WHY IS THIS WET?”

 

“Is it naptime yet?”

 

And on and on and on… would you listen? If I could ever find the time to edit and publish a weekly recording like this, I feel like it might be a hit! :)

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Motherhood is a Cheeky Betch

That Motherhood… she is one cheeky bitch. The moment you even consider thinking about making a plan for something… her wheels start turning.

Like, if you think “Hmmm… after I put the kids to bed I’ll have a nice glass of wine and relax in a bubble bath”…. BAM. NO. Motherhood has decided that your baby will scream 2 minutes after you engulf yourself in bubbles.

Or, if you think “Hmmm… tomorrow morning I’ll put away the laundry and then start on cleaning the house so I can have everything presentable by noon”… BAM. NO. Motherhood has decided that your toddler will pee through her diaper, her nightgown, her blanket, her sheets and her bed and will wake you at 6:30am to deal with it. During the cleaning of this, this EXTRA chore you hadn’t planned on… your baby will wake and scream that it’s time to play RIGHT THIS SECOND OR ELSE.

And, if you think “Hmmm… maybe I will take a shower and enjoy coffee today”… BAM. NO. Motherhood thinks you should wear sweatpants until 2pm, clean up baby barf 17 times before 10am, mop up juice spills while your toddler cries and stomps her feet, and wonder what-in-the-living-hell-did-this-thing-eat while cloroxing the spot where the dog hacked up an unknown glob of digustingness.

And THAT… that is all in less than 24 hours of Motherhood’s glory.

She is SUCH a bitch.

 

(Buuuuuuuut, then there’s this…)

 

Bedroom Eyes

Adam and I enjoyed a much-needed weekend in Seattle without the kiddos recently, and we attempted to keep most of our conversation “adult” (i.e. not revolving around our babies). Wow, that is difficult! We managed, for the most part.

At lunch on Sunday, we somehow began discussing pretty movie stars. I had accused Adam of only being attracted to “exotic” women (Salma Hayek is pretty much his dream girl), and he got all bent out of shape.

Adam: That is SO not true!

Me: Name a non-exotic movie star you think is hot.

Adam: Blake Lively.

Me: Shocker. Every man is attracted to her, she’s got those “I’d rather be in bed” eyes.

Adam: Is that what it is? Man… you should work on that!

Me: Ummm… I’m pretty sure as a mom with a full time job and two kids under the age of 3, I ALWAYS have “I’d rather be in bed” eyes.

Adam: *sigh*

Seriously though… I’d rather be in bed. I haven’t blogged in 3 months because every time I have a second – you guessed it – I’d rather be in bed.

So, SuperMommies – you can now tell everyone you’ve got “bedroom eyes.” Unless of course you’ve got some special secret for waking up completely rested and ready to go, and in that case, start talking. 

Anyway… g’night!

Movie Star Bedroom Eyes
 
New Mommy Bedroom Eyes

(That pic of me is totally from 2010 when Ellie was a baby… but I assure you I still have the same eyes. There may be slightly darker circles under them now.)

 

Postpartum Fun

A fun little note about postpartum sneezing (and really, this applies to the last trimester of pregnancy as well)-

Sneeze #1: “Yessss… no pee. Those kegels must be working!”

Sneeze #2: “Mwahaha evil sneeze, you won’t get me!”

Sneeze #3: “dammit.”

Happens every time.

Let the public embarrassment begin…

Ellie has really never embarrassed me in public – I’m not the mom who freaks out when her baby cries super loudly in the grocery store (or on the plane), I don’t care if she has a blowout and the stink fills the room, and I think pretty much everything she says is funny or really, really cute.

Recently, however, she managed to make the color rise in my cheeks (even though I still thought she was cute and funny). During a quick trip to Target in search of new nursing tanks, I brought my little darling into the dressing room with me while I tried a few things on.

The rooms on either side of us were occupied, and Target was not playing any sort of background music over the store speakers – so everything was relatively quiet. Until Ellie ripped a ridiculously loud fart and then started cracking up… and then yelled the words “MOMMY TOOTS!”

Okay, so I definitely was laughing, but I told her “No, ELLIE toots. Mommy didn’t toot!” – but nooooooo, repeating the words “MOMMY TOOTS” over and over had her laughing like a hyena and me blushing to no end. And what the heck do you even do in that situation? “Um, excuse me, other people in the dressing room? It really wasn’t me, I promise! It was my kid! Really!”

Riiiiiiiight.  

I can’t help but think it must have been her DAD that taught her pass the blame like that. It’s a conspiracy, I tell you.