Safe Words and Tippytoes

I mentioned in my first post that Adam and I started trying for a baby in 2009… well it’s been nearly a year now, and no luck. I thought I’d share my experience with the issues and frustrations I’ve been dealing with here. I know I’m not the only person who has ever had fertility issues, and it helped me to read other couples’ stories online. My journey so far has been frustrating, uncomfortable and sometimes comical. I don’t know how cathartic this will be, but hopefully it will at least be either entertaining or comforting to someone.

So… just a short story for now. A few months ago I decided to finally get fertility testing done, and after a bunch of OBGYN appointments and some big long scary needles, my doctor prescribed Clomid. I had 3 blood tests and a failed hysterosalpingogram last year, and just this month my doc decided to dilate my cervix and give me pills. She’s pretty confident that we’ll (finally) succeed in makin’ a baby within 3 months, so I guess we’ll see.

When my doc was talking to me about the medication, she mentioned that it might make me go a little bit super-bitch-crazy… I laughed and said that I’m already a super bitch, so no biggie. She took it a little more seriously and then told me that I should “come up with a ‘safe’ word” for my husband and I to use in case I get out of hand… emotionally. SRSLY? Enjoy a small peek into my home life, in which you’ll see that this idea? Would never work.  

Me: “Hey Honey, before I start taking these pills tomorrow, my doctor thinks we should come up with some sort of safe word in case I turn into too much of a biotch.”

Adam: “Oh, great. Is that what I have to look forward to? Can I just move out for a little bit?”

Me: “That may make the ‘baby-making’ a little difficult. Seriously though, we should come up with some sort of signal or word. Just in case.”

Adam: “How about, ‘Hey Jenny you’re being a huge bitch’? That should be fine.”

Me: “Uh, unless you don’t care if I throw plates at you, that will not work fine.”

Adam: *sigh* “Okay. Tippytoe.”

Me: “Huh?”

Adam: “That’s the word. Tippytoe.”

Me: “No. Absolutely not. I can guarantee that that word would just piss me off even more if I’m already in a shitty mood.”

Adam: “It seems like you’re starting to put yourself in a shitty mood right now.”

Me: “No, I just want you to take this seriously! C’mon!”

Adam: “You’re starting to freak me out. Have you already started taking those pills?”

Me: “What? NO! I said I start taking them tomorrow!”

Adam: “…tippytoe… tippytoe…”