Isn’t this how everyone acts around famous people?

Okay, it’s been long enough. I’ve been busy, but I know you all don’t want excuses! Here is, finally, my account of the night I had drinks with AC Slater. It’s kind of a long story…

(ohmigosh you guys… seriously this is just an example of why I haven’t gotten around to writing recently… I JUST got two babies to bed, came downstairs, rinsed bottles, typed out the opening sentence above and immediately heard crying. 30 minutes later, I’m sitting downstairs singing the wiggle song to my niece while trying to type this out… if this post doesn’t make sense this is totally why.)

SO… Molly heard that Slater was going to be at a sunset cocktail party hosted by Softcup during the BlogHer11 conference in SanDiego. She somehow wrangled us onto the guest list, which was totally awesome and we were both super excited.

When we got to the conference, we decided to go to the Softcup exhibitor’s booth and introduce ourselves. At the booth, we saw they were giving away a VIP entry to the party – all you had to do to enter was tweet out something and tag Softcup in your tweet. Sweet! Here is what I posted:

@SuperwifeJenny: #softcupblogher I’d like to have a cocktail with AC tonight, please.

And that was that. 2 hours later, Mol and I are sitting in a session where a woman is reading aloud a very emotional post from her blog. My phone vibrates and I look down to see this notification from twitter:

@InsteadSoftCup: The winner of our VIP contest is @SuperwifeJenny!

HO. LY. SHITE. It took all of my strength not to jump up and down and scream out loud when I saw this. I almost had to leave the (completely silent except for the crying speaker) room!

I managed not to embarrass myself (that comes later) and made it through the rest of the day. When we arrived at the cocktail party later that evening, Molly and I were immediately escorted to the paparazzi area where we took photos with Olympic medalist Amanda Beard (the other party host). Then we were handed delicious drinks make with cake-flavored vodka and were seated in the VIP area (which had official-looking ropes and a bouncer and everything!).

By the time AC actually showed up, I was a bit tipsy. I did enjoy sitting with him and his girlfriend, Courtney Mazza – we compared baby pics. You guys, I am such a mom… “OhmygoshIgettomeetacelebrityIcan’twaittoshowhimphotosofmybaby” – that’s how moms roll.

Talking about our kids, while AC texts.

After a few more drinks I had this conversation:

Me: So, have a lot of people called you Slater tonight?

Slater: *looks annoyed* You’re the first.

Me: Oh. Well I’ll probably be the shecond too. And maybe the third.

Slater: Excuse me, I see someone I know.

Me: Oh yeah, me too. Exschushe me.

And then I laughed at him. Oh – and then just before he left, I grabbed him and said “Oh Hey AC! Let’sh take one more photo!” and then proceeded to take and retake the self-portrait 6 times because I “looked to drunk” in the previous 5. This is his “I’m not amused, and my name isn’t AC” face (apparently).

End scene.

But wait, there’s more! Apparently, Ryan Cabrera (anyone remember him? No? Molly and I had to google him too) was doing a little private show at our rooftop cocktail party… so when we left the VIP area, we noticed him singing on a stage in the corner. When we walked over to check it out, we ran into Clark Duke from Hottub Time Machine! WTF? Apparently he’s Ryan’s roommate and BFF. Weird. So, Molly and drank and laughed with him (oh, and Diana Ross’s son – weird) for a while.

During the conversation with Clark, Adam was texting me about a bug bite on Tali’s face… so at one point I put my hand up in his face and drunkenly yelled, “Dude HOLD ON. I’m trying to look up Benadryl doses for my dog” while he was asking me something about Alaska. Yeah, I bet that didn’t confuse him at all.

 

When Ryan was done singing, he came over and had a few drinks with us. I noticed he had words tattooed on his chest, so I asked him if I could see them. And then I realized that he is an idiot. First of all, “Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink” – WTF? Second… it was spelled “some times” instead of “sometimes“. I almost died.

 

Aaaaaand that was basically how it went. Recap?

  1. AC Slater = not so Slaterish any more; also wears a shit ton of makeup.
  2. Clark Duke from Hottub Time Machine = just as funny in real life. Seriously.
  3. Ryan Cabrera = still singing the one song that made him “famous”; also doesn’t know how to spell. But… nice guy.
  4. Amanda Beard = super, super friendly and cool chick.

Now, back to real life. :)

 

Vote Superwife!

Superwife has been nominated for “Best Local Blog” in the 2011 Anchorage Press Picks! So awesome… especially since I swear I didn’t nominate myself, lol.

So… if this blog has made you laugh, cry, snort-out-loud, or feel any sort of strong emotion… please consider clicking over and voting for TheAdventuresofSuperwife.com!

Voting is open through September 7th, and one vote per day is allowed. You should also take a look at all of the other awesome categories and vote for your Anchorage favorites! (I have to admit that I love scrolling through all of the entries… great way to kill time, cubicle peeps!)

Fake Bathrooms, The Bloggess, and Banana Messages

As I mentioned in my BlogHer’11 Recap (sponsored by Paragon/Dirtt and Bradley Reid!), I totally met The Bloggess the night before the conference started. She was hiding out in a fake bathroom that was made especially for her at The People’s Party in the BlogHer hotel.

Anyway, her name is Jenny, and she rocks. Also, she’s taller than I though she would be. Not sure why, but for some reason I imagined her at like 5’3… so not the case. She towered over me (and I was in heels)! Anyhoo, I managed not to rush up to her and hug-attack her, and she was super nice in return. We talked mostly about Alaska, because she was leaving for a cruise with her family the next day – her big question? “What kind of coat should I bring?”

Jenny, I’m still asking this question. Adam HATES that question, because I ask it like, every time we go outside… and I was born and raised here in Alaska. So, I hope my answer was helpful (I think I said something like, “Oh, um, well, it’s been nice out, so, like, you probably don’t need a parka or anything. Not that you would have any reason to even own a parka. But bring a windbreaker. And a sweatshirt. Or maybe a light fleece jacket. Although it’s been nice out, so maybe just a vest. I don’t know, let me call my husband…” 

 If you’re not familiar with Jenny the Bloggess, here are two links for you to enjoy:

This post is the post that got me absolutely hooked on her blog; I could NOT stop laughing! And when I went and read it again just now, I still laughed out loud! If you don’t laugh at this, you are obviously dead inside.

This post cracked me up because I had just seen this banana thing on Pinterest recently… so when The Bloggess posted her take, I had to try out this trick:

 

Alright… you know you want to try it now. Off you go!

How I almost lost Molly at BlogHer…

… because she almost lept out of a moving vehicle.

For those of you who haven’t met (or read) my friend Molly, she is amazing. She is gorgeous, talented, spirited and incredibly intelligent… if you don’t count the whole vegan thing. I kid, I kid… but seriously, Molly is a vegan. And even when she’s not a vegan (dude, everyone slips, shut up already) (oh and also, dude, animalz iz delishus), she still cares very deeply about animal rights. To illustrate, I shall recall a short but true story:

A few years ago (3? 4?) I had a few girlfriends over to watch American Idol and drink wine while we made fun of everyone but Adam Lambert (should have won!). We all decided to paint our toenails while we hung out, and after we finished I pulled out a can of that QuickDri spray stuff – you know, the kind they have at some salons where you just spray it on your newly painted nails and it supposedly dries them faster? Anyway, we all used it – except for Molly. She instead picked up the can, took it into the well-lit kitchen and scrutinized the ingredients label…

Molly: DUDE. I am SO not using this dead-animal-spray. It has MINK OIL in it.

Me: What is mink oil?

Molly: It’s (insert real explanation here, I cant remember bc I was drinking and laughing my ass off). You need to throw this can of death away!

Me: Yeah, well…. Jen is wearing a zebra shirt! Yell at her! (to clarify, my friend Jen was wearing a zebra-print shirt, not a shirt made out of an actual zebra)

SO… that is an example of Molly’s vegan-ness. Here is the story of how she nearly died at BlogHer a few weekends ago:

At the SoftCup/Mario Lopez/Ryan Cabrera party we went to (calm DOWN, I’ll post about it later), we were photographed by a celebrity paparazzo (oKAY, professional photographer, but I will continue to refer to him as Paparazzi Jerod). He was really witty and fun to hang out with, so we all exchanged cards. The next day, Jerod sent me a message and asked if Molly and I would like to grab some sushi with him and his wife (who he referred to as “wifezilla”) after the conference. Since we had no dinner plans, we agreed.

The Paparazzis (Jerod and his wife, Emilee) picked us up in their car at the conference center and we drove over to a delicious sushi restaurant nearby (where, btw, Molly had some vegetables or something). In the car, we were all discussing jobs – Jerod mentioned to his wife that I worked for a pharma company, and then told me that Emilee worked in a lab. And then this:

Me: Oh, what kind of lab?

Emilee: Clinical stuff. I see reps sometimes.

Jerod: Hon! Tell them about those funny fuckin’ coke monkeys!

Emilee: Oh yeah, haha.

(Molly perked up at this point, listening verrrrrry closely.)

Me: Monkeys?

Emilee: Yeah some companies use our labs for animal testing and stuff.

(Molly’s eyes are huge now. Huge.)

Jerod: Yeah but tell them about the ones on cocaine.

Emilee: Oh haha… yeah this one time these monkeys were on cocaine and one of them broke out and it was insane, haha. But don’t worry, it was clinical grade cocaine.

(I think Molly’s hand may have been on the door handle now. Imagine cartoon steam coming out of her ears.)

Me: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That’s hilarious. Isn’t that hilarious, Molly?

Molly: (through gritted teeth) So how far away is this restaurant?

I am SO proud of Molly for not leaping to her death to escape the animal-hating Paparazzi family… because they actually turned out to be wonderful people who were fun to hang out with and an all-around totally cool couple.

Molly… so polite. And reserved.

Also, Molly will probably try to tell you that this is an exaggerated version of the event… but it’s exactly how I remember it in my head. :)

Super Meal Planning

I recently received an email from Nate, whom I can’t remember for the life of me ever meeting or communicating with. Nate thinks that I would be a great person to get an opinion from regarding his new meal planner template – you know, to make my life easier.

Well, OF COURSE I felt I had to reply, as I totally consider myself an expert in planning of meals. Anyone who has ever read my blog knows that Adam and I carefully plan everything, including fancy dinners. So, I politely returned Nate’s email, complete with an attached “expert example” of how I’ll be using his new awesome downloadable tool. I haven’t heard back from him yet, but I’m sure he’ll be emailing my example out with all of his marketing info from now on.

So Superfans… here is our SuperFamily’s September Menu. It’s so amazing that you’re probably going to want to utilize it yourself. Feel free, just make sure that you credit my recipes or I’ll come find you and sue you.

Happy Menu Planning!

Chapstick = Love

I wasn’t kidding about being a Chapstickaholic – and since I found a photo from 2005 to illustrate my addiction, I’ll accompany it with a sweet story about Adam. It also illustrates how amazing my husband is. <3

I moved to Seattle for a job in the start of 2005, and shortly after I left Alaska my mom decided to move to Idaho with my sisters, brother and stepdad. When Adam and I started dating in July, and then it got serious, I decided to move back to AK. One of my BIGGEST concerns was that I was going to be spending my very first Christmas without my MOM… an unbearable thought. As December 25th drew nearer, I constantly reminded Adam of all the ways he had to strive to make Christmas “real” for me… help me decorate the house, help me decorate the tree, let me play Christmas tunes and burn Christmas-y candles, drive around and look at lit up houses with me, open one present with me on Christmas Eve (a family tradition)… and most importantly, DO NOT FORGET TO PUT CHAPSTICK IN MY STOCKING (I may or may not have reminded him about this important tradition everysingleday for two months). Mom ALWAYS put some Chapstick in my stocking, and it’s always been one of the things that really makes Christmas feel like Christmas for me.

Come Christmas morning, 2005… I woke up to a stocking that was literally overflowing with tubes of Chapstick. In every flavor he could find. There was absolutely nothing else in my stocking but shiny new tubes of Chapstick – about 50 of them.

 

This wasn't even half.

He loves me… he really loves me. <3

Green Apple Chapstick: Want One?

The first thing I got excited about at the BlogHer Conference last weekend wasn’t my shiny “Superwife” badge. It wasn’t the huge bag-o-swag I got upon registering. It wasn’t even the giant Statue-of-Liberty made entirely of Twizzlers (btw, wtf?)… it was the Pfizer booth in the Expo Hall. Which, I might add, is a shock since I happen to work for a competing pharmaceutical company (which shall remain nameless, of course).

Walking past the booth, I noticed a giant apothecary jar filled with Chapstick. I love Chapstick — no, I REALLY REALLY REALLY LOVE Chapstick… I seriously have one or two sticks in every single drawer, pocket, purse, wallet, cabinet, nightstand, corner… you get the point. I have every single flavor of chapstick that was ever made (except grape, bc I used it all when I was like ten and then they never rereleased it). In my stocking every year, Adam gives me about 50 new tubes of Chapstick. I am a Chapstickaholic. So naturally, I couldn’t help but sport a huge smile and run went to grab a stick for my purse. As I got a closer look at the jar, I nearly started hyperventilating when I saw that it was a new flavor of Chapstick that I’d never seen: GREEN APPLE.

Dude.

My favorite flavor of all time. Put into Chapstick. Superwife almost had a super heart failure. I could barely breathe when I asked the gal at the booth if I could have fifty a stick, and then almost passed out when she gave me two. Molly laughed at me the whole time. No seriously you guys… I reacted to the Chapstick with more awe and breathlessness than when I met ACmuthafuckinSlater.

ANYWAY… clearlyI was raised in a Chapstick-obsessed family, as evidenced by the following texts I received that night from my mom and sister:

 

 

The text from my sister nearly made my pee my pants… do you get to keep it, lol. Still laughing.

After forcing convincing Molly to give me all of her Chapstick, and sneaking over to the Pfizer booth multiple times per day, I ended up with 14 sticks. Stingy bastards. :)

Okay SO… since this new flavor of Chapstick doesn’t come out for another MONTH (and omg who can wait that long?), and because I’m in a “sharing is caring” mood… I’m giving one lucky Superwife fan a tube of this super-sacred balm. But only one, because I am nice but also very very greedy, and I have a lot of drawers in my house.

Super easy rules: Comment on this post and tell me your favorite flavor of Chapstick. Or, tell me what flavor you wish Chapstick would come out with. Mine was Green Apple, so now I can die happy.

I’ll pick a random winner on Friday, August 19. GO! 

Oh, and thanks again to my supersponsors Paragon/Dirtt and Bradley Reid, for sending me to BlogHer and subsequently supporting my Chapstick habit.