Everything in life can be related to a Friends episode

This is basically just how it went when I went to the hospital for kidney stones. And of course, even though I was in excrutiating pain, I couldn’t stop giggling because I just kept replaying this scene in my head. And I’m pretty sure the nurse thought I was delirious because I was giggling so much, and when I tried to explain she just looked at me like I was crazy and said, “we’ll try to get that pain medication in here as soon as possible, hon.”

Well, if Naomi Watts can do it…

Adam came to bed the other night and just HAD to share this with me:

Adam: Hey Honey, I just watched a Jimmy Fallon episode where he interviewed Naomi Watts… she like, JUST had a baby and you can’t even tell!

Me: Just because you keep telling me all of these miracle stories of model women whose bodies bounce back before the umbilical cord is cut doesn’t mean I will be like that. I need recovery time, and I’m probably going to be fat for a little while.

Adam: Well anyway, it’s crazy how great she looks for just having had a baby.

So, the next morning I watched the Jimmy-Naomi interview. I promptly texted Adam after I saw how great Naomi looks:

Me: Um, Naomi Watts had a baby in DECEMBER 2008, and two months later she was put through CIA PARAMILITARY TRAINING for her movie Fair Game.

Adam: Oh yeah!!

So… gee… I’m thinking I’ll lose my baby weight within two whole years – even without the paramilitary training. I will allow my husband to hold me to that standard. :)

Don’t Embarrass Me…

Although I’ve read that these crazy pregnancy dreams that have been plaguing me lately are “completely normal” (suuuuure, babycenter.com), I still think some of them would be better off forgotten. I’ve dreamt of so many insane subjects in the past few weeks –  from crazed killers coming after me with knives to finding out I’m actually a triplet –  that I’m beginning to think I should keep a pen and paper on my nightstand just to analyze them.

Last night I had THE. BEST. ONE. YET…

So for some reason I was on a stage (like a small, high-school-or-college-sized auditorium stage where you’d watch plays or band concerts) with OPRAH, after some kind of performance of hers, and I was trying to get an autograph. Oddly enough, Adam was with me, but he was waiting in the audience chairs. I say oddly enough because Adam NEVER comes with me to things I like that have anything to do with anything girly (or anything that would make him seem gay).

So, Adam is in the audience, and I finally get to Oprah (there was a line), and I try to get Adam’s attention so he can take a picture of me with Oprah. He’s obviously pissed that I’ve dragged him to whatever embarrassing event this is, and he’s got his feet up on the chair in front of him, and he’s lazily attempting to take the picture WITH HIS FEET. With. His. Feet. As if Oprah has time for this, geez.

Oprah gives me a knowing look and just whips out this Polaroid camera, snaps a quick self-portrait of the two of us, and hands me the film. And then she gives me a hug and just shrugs and says, “Men.”

So, effectively, I’ve just had a dream ABOUT MY HUSBAND EMBARRASSING ME IN FRONT OF OPRAH.

But what could one analyze out of this nonsense? Discuss, I dare you. :)

Groupie WIN!

If any of you read my post from last year about my “Groupie Fail” (Molly posted it here too), you’ll appreciate this. Catch up on the original story here or here, then proceed. :)

So a few days ago my awesome-famous-keyboard-player friend Mark Burch from Nashville texted me and said he was going to be in town playing with Billy Currington this week, and asked me if I wanted tickets to the show. Mark – who Jen, Molly, Sam, Annie and I had a crazy fun night with and never thought we’d see him again –  remembered us and generously offered us tickets to a kick-ass country concert! How rad is that?? So of course I said hell yes, and THIS TIME around my girlfriends and I can say we did not participate in a groupie fail. Jen (& Ely!), Allison, Kaile, Cassie, Jenna, Amanda, Katie, Molly and I had a B-L-A-S-T!

The tickets Mark got us were CRAZY GOOD – dead center, 3rd row. We couldn’t have asked for better seats! Billy Currington was fabulous, the whole band put on an awesome concert and they all looked like they had a blast! After the show we hung out backstage with Mark and the rest of the band (minus Billy… apparently he gets attacked by crazy fans if he sticks around) and played our groupie roles perfectly. The girls drank delicious free booze (I had delicious free bottled water and a delicious free apple) and we joked with the crew for a while, then took them to F Street Station (a local chill bar). I love how down-to-earth all of these guys were! Thanks for a fabulous evening, and we hope we get to see you again!

Push

At a friend’s house this weekend, discussing hot movie stars:

Me: Oh, Chris Evans, totally. My new favorite. I had a sexy dream about him last night.

Jen: Welcome to pregnancy dreams.

Me: TOTALLY.

Allison: Who the hell is Chris Evans?

Me: Hmm, he’s been in a few new things… he’s in the previews now for that movie The Losers, and hmm… OH! Have you seen Push?

Allison: Ew, no. Is that like, a pregnancy movie or something? Of course I wouldn’t have seen it.

HAHAHAHA. I’m not sure I would even watch a pregnancy movie called Push! But FYI… if you haven’t seen it you should totally rent it. Dakota Fanning, Chris Evans… they have super powers… it came out last year sometime. Netflix it, it rocked. Plus Chris Evans is hot.