Toilet Training: Husbands vs Toddlers

We women have spent YEARS attempting to train our husbands (and boyfriends/brothers/fathers/sons) to put the toilet seat back down afte they pee. YEARS, I tell you. Have you been successful? Because I have not. I don’t even think Adam hears the words coming out of my mouth once he realizes it’s a “nag” statement.

It’s just ridiculous the number of times I’ve mentioned (and nicely, at that!) how it would be really helpful and much less unsightly if Adam would *PLEASE* just close the toiled lid when he’s finished. I’ve pretty much given up on that – hell, at this point I’m just happy if he manages to actually FLUSH the damn toilet when he’s finished…

…which is why I found it absolutely, knee-smackingly, pee-my-pants (literally, thanks to my currently being 8 months pregnant) hilarious when my husband and I recently had this conversation:

Adam:(calling to me from the bathroom) Hey is there somewhere for me to put this stupid Dora potty seat of Ellie’s?

Me: Yes, Honey, there’s a hook on the side of the toilet. Just hang the seat right on it, please don’t leave it on the floor.

Adam:(coming out of the bathroom) Well I guess it’s cool that it came with a hook. Hey, you know what we should do? We should train Ellie to put her seat away when she’s finished using it.

Me: Oh, so it won’t be so annoying when the next person goes to use the toilet?

Adam: Yeah, it’s such a pain in the ass to have to deal with that every time I pee. I mean, she’s old enough to learn how to put her seat away, right?


He still doesn’t get the irony.


Girl’s Got Aim

I’ve shared some of this on Facebook recently, because, well… I continue to be so shocked by my daughter that I have to immediately upload photos and explanations so people can get a good chuckle. Here is the (developing) story regarding Ellie’s latest “potty adventures”:

Since we’ve started potty training (approx 6 weeks ago), Ellie has massively impressed me. She got the hang of everything right away, and now she’s to the point where she doesn’t even use her little potty chairs. She just uses a cute little Dora the Explorer seat ring on the big potty… well, that and a few other interesting “venues”.

Exhibit A — Dora’s Potty

A few weeks ago I heard Ellie say “potty” in the living room so I ran around the corner to investigate. She was sitting on her pink potty chair by the couch, proudly telling me she had peed. As I cleaned her up and emptied the chair, I noticed she had a little bit of pee on her leg. I mentioned to Adam that maybe she had missed a little before she made it to the potty, and we didn’t really think twice about it. A few hours later, while cleaning the living room after I had put the Pee Queen to bed, I found out where she had “missed” — apparently she had tried to sit on the TEENY TINY potty chair for the Dora Potty DOLL I had given her. When she realized it was uncomfortable/too small/ridiculous, she moved over to her own potty chair and finished. Apparently. How she managed to hover over that thing and actually pee into it, I’ll never know.

Exhibit B — “Dump” Truck

This is actually a little jungle truck, but I think my title is more fitting. Last Saturday night, just before bed, Ellie was running around our living room like a little naked banshee. She got out this truck and started trying to sit on it, which already had us cracking up. When she finally did manage to sit her little butt on top of it, and just as Adam jokingly said, “hey, don’t poop in that, Honey” – she ripped the biggest “toot” and actually grunted. I laughed so hard that I almost peed MY pants (it’s a miracle I could pick myself up off the couch to get her to the bathroom while I was in hysterics).

Exhibit C — Potty Snacks

Again with the naked-banshee-nighttime-playing, but in the kitchen this time. Adam had a buddy over and they were drinking a beer and chatting, when all of a sudden I hear, “Hey, what is she DOING?” — only to run in and see Ellie ACTUALLY SITTING on this tiny little snack container saying “potty time!”

Size Comparisons:

I guess I’ve got to hand it to her — the girl’s got aim. Unfortunately I’m realizing now that I’ll have to check ANYTHING ANYWHERE EVER for pee, since she’s apparently the Secret Pee Ninja.

But really… potty training is going great. I promise.

On Becoming a Supermom – For Amanda

After visiting my sister-in-law Amanda in the hospital just moments after she gave birth to my gorgeous new nephew, Carson, I mentioned to Adam that I was jealous of her. He of course thought I was referring to the fact that she no longer has to deal with the aches and pains of pregnancy that I complain about 24/7 – in a way, yes sure, I’m wishing I could move this whole process along, but I was really thinking of this particular time in Amanda’s life that has me wading through the waters of jealous remembrance.

She is now on Day 3 of motherhood, and I can’t help but tear up when I think of how overwhelmed with emotion I was when I was a 3-day-old mommy. Sure, my “new-mommyness” was a bit tainted with the pain of losing my father-in-law less than a week before… but nothing can get in the way of the pure magic only a newborn can provide. (I would even say that Ellie SAVED me from my grief – a powerful feat from such a little human.)

Amanda is in this time-suspended period where all she has to do is stare at her new baby, breathe in the delicious scent of her new baby, and dream up all the things she hopes to accomplish for her new baby. When I had Ellie, it didn’t even matter who or how many people were in the room (we had a LOT of visitors) – I was completely submerged in her essence. Her smell, her tiny noises, her little squirmy movements… the way she blinked, breathed, yawned and especially the way she would just stare into my eyes.

I’m jealous because while I will definitely get to experience the new-baby fun in just a few weeks… I won’t ever get to be a “new mom” again. New moms have no expectations, no pre-conceived notions – they’re a clean slate, no matter what advice they’ve been given. Every single little tiny experience is created from a fresh, innocent place.

So… because I can’t help it (what mother can?), I offer this advice to my beautiful sister – and any other beautiful new mommies:

  • Smell your new baby, as much as possible. I always wondered when that “new” smell would dissipate… it takes a while, but enjoy every second of it.
  • Get lost in your baby’s eyes. They may change color over time, but you’ll be enamored with that part of your child forever. A child’s eyes carry so much emotion and wonder, you’ll feel like they make time stand still.
  • Relax when your baby cries (but don’t feel guilty if you cry a little too). It’s true that they feel your tension… and they also feel your calmness.
  • Learn to never stand still. I still do a little side-to-side sway sometimes, even when I’m not holding my daughter… it becomes an ingrained action.
  • Laugh. At everything. Laugh at the funny faces your baby makes, and laugh at how ridiculous you look (and feel) while using a breast pump. Laugh when you spill coffee all over yourself, and laugh when your baby has four “blowouts” in one day. Do NOT forget to laugh.
  • Listen to (and ask for) advice – from your mom, your dad, your friends, your sister (hint hint), and everyone else who may have something to offer. Do not feel obligated to use any of it. Motherhood is individual to each of us… my experience is different from your mom’s, and yours will be too. YOU get to make the calls now, and no one can decide anything for your baby but you.
  • Try not to get jealous when other people hold your baby – but don’t feel guilty asking for him back. It’s normal to feel naked without your baby attached to you, and during those first few weeks at home it’s really, really hard to willingly place him/her in someone else’s arms (until you really, really need a shower – then it’s a little easier).
  • Accept meals (whether homemade or fast-food) from anyone and everyone who offers. You just concentrate on getting to know your new baby – your family and friends will make sure you get fed. :)
  • Don’t forget about Dad. He’s experiencing all of this for the very first time too… and he’s loving it just as much as you are. Share in that together… and be thankful – every single stressful amazing second – for your new family.  

I’ll reign in the rest of my motherly knowledge until I’m asked. Or hell, maybe I’ll spill it all out every time I visit, who knows? Just know that no matter what anyone tells you, your only job right now is to revel in the beauty of your baby and your new family.

I love you, Amanda. Now share your baby with me. I’ll be over in a few hours.


The Baby Lists: Your Medicine Kit

I always keep a medicine kit in Ellie’s diaper bag – that way I have everything I need in case of an emergency no matter where we are… and if she’s at Grandma’s or anywhere else without me, they’ll have emergency items as well. Here’s what I keep in the kit:

  • thermometer
  • ibuprofen
  • tylenol
  • nail clippers/files
  • bulb syringe
  • boogie wipes
  • pedialyte
  • orajel
  • Vaseline
  • qtips
  • little noses saline drops/spray
  • baby Vicks vapo-rub
  • baby tooth/gum brush
  • gas drops (though I never used them)
  • chapstick (of course)

Do you keep a med kit for your superbaby? What’s in yours?

The Baby Lists: What’s in Your Diaper Bag?

I struggled when I was a brand new mommy because I wanted to just bring my whole house with me every time I left to run an errand with Ellie… after a few weeks of packing and repacking, I had it down. This list worked perfectly for me whether I was taking Ellie with me to the store or dropping her off at Grandma’s for a few hours. All of this for a trip to the store may seem like overkill, but if you really feel overburdened just leave the bag in the car… you never know, however, when your superbaby will have a blowout or pitch a royal fit. :)

Here is what I recommend for a new mommy to keep in her diaper bag:

  •  at least 6 diapers
  • wipes
  • changing pad
  • baby powder
  • a&d ointment
  • diaper rash cream
  • baby lotion
  • hand sanitizer
  • burp cloths
  • rec’v blanket
  • soft blankie
  • pacifiers (a couple)
  • toys or lovey
  • med bag
  • bottle
  • formula/breast milk
  • breast pads
  • nipple cream
  • extra change of clothes
  • coat & hat
  • baby food/bibs/spoon/puffs (4mos+)

What do you think, mommies? Would you add anything?

The Baby Lists: What to Pack in Your Hospital Bag

Continuing on with the baby lists, here is a list I made of things I actually needed and used when I went to the hospital in labor. There are a lot of lists out there that include MUCH more than this… I packed way too much in my hospital bag, and only found the following items necessary:

  • Portable ipod/iphone speakers
  • Toothbrush/paste/retainer
  • Contacts/solution/glasses
  • Deodorant/perfume
  • Socks
  • Comfy pillow
  • Going home outfit (sweats, maternity tee &  underwear you’ll throw away)
  • Hairbrush
  • Makeup (minimal… I used mascara and blush)
  • Facial cleansing wipes
  • Face lotion
  • Nipple cream!
  • Baby going home outfit
  • Baby swaddle (my mom brought one and I had Ellie in it the whole time)

To explain the speakers… I am SO glad we had them. I pushed for 3 hours, and in a silent delivery room with only my husband, our moms, and 3 medical professionals – I really wanted some background noise to make me feel less self-conscious of my grunting, crying, and any other noises that might have come out of my body. Thank goodness for Pandora’s 70’s Hits station.

Anything to add, ladies? I’ve heard of mommies bringing candles, heat wraps… what helped you during your stay in the hospital?

The Baby Lists: Newborn/New Mommy Essentials

When I was pregnant with Ellie I was a compulsive list-maker (okay, I’m still a compulsive list-maker, so sue me). I was so concerned with be prepared for a new baby that I wrote down like, everything I could ever need.

After I actually HAD Ellie, I adjusted my lists – to be more realistic, to include things that I used regularly, and to exclude things I once thought I needed but really didn’t. I’ve had a number of friends and family members become pregnant with their first babies since then, and I’ve enjoyed sharing my OCD with all of them.

I recently had a few requests to share my SuperLists on the blog, so here you go! The topics include Newborn Essentials, What to Pack in Your Hospital Bag, What to Pack in Your Diaper Bag, and What to Keep in Your Baby’s Med Kit. I’ll share the lists in their own posts over the next few days, and I’ll include links to products wherever I can. Feel free to share, bookmark, and certainly to add your thoughts!

Superwife’s Newborn Essentials (or, Things I Couldn’t Live Without When I Was a New Mommy)

  • Munchkin Dog night light (or a Mobi Glomate) (I still use it every day, and now Ellie likes to play with it too!)
  • Fisher Price Seahorse (it’s like a gloworm!)
  • Cuff sleeve onesies (babies scratch themselves a lot)
  • Mittens (babies scratch themselves A LOT!)
  • A&D ointment (Target brand, green lid is my favorite)
  • Baby powder
  • JJ Cole BundleMe Carseat Cover
  • Some sort of carseat hangy music toy
  • Baby Tylenol
  • Johnson’s Bedtime Baby Wash
  • Johnson’s Bedtime Baby Lotion
  • Baby nail clippers
  • Baby hairbrush & comb (Ellie needed it!)
  • Cloth diapers (for burp pads)
  • Receiving blankets
  • Baby bathtub
  • Soothie pacifiers
  • Thermometer
  • Waterproof fitted crib sheets
  • Waterproof changing table pads
  • Blankies
  • Boppy nursing pillow
  • Crib mobile/projector
  • Swing! (absolute lifesaver)
  • Playpen w/changing table
  • Bottle dryer (the Boon grass thingy is cool and I still use it)
  • Wipes warmer (I like the Munchkin one)
  • Baby monitor (I love my Summer Best View video monitor)
  • Bottles (even if you plan to breastfeed, you may need to use a bottle for some reason or another sooner than you think. I like Playtex DropIns and Playtex VentAir bottles)
  • CarSeat: one that tightens in the front!!! (our Chicco Keyfit30 is great)
  • Babytrend Snap-n-Go Stroller (if you need a stroller… Nice for travel, but for shopping and stuff you just put the carseat in the shopping cart!)

And for Momma:

  • Breast pads
  • Nursing bra/tanks
  • Lanisoh Nipple Cream
  • Lanisoh Soothies Nipple Gel Pads
  • Dermoplast (numbing spray!)
  • Tucks Pads
  • Granny panties (you’ll throw them away)
  • Giant pads (lol, or ask for LOTS extra at the hospital)
  • Breast Pump (Medela is the best)

Instead of peppering this whole post with links to products, I thought I’d just provide this link to SUPERWIFE’S PICKS on Amazon. There, you can browse through photos and listings of most of the items I’ve listed here. Enjoy!