Everything in life can be related to a Friends episode

This is basically just how it went when I went to the hospital for kidney stones. And of course, even though I was in excrutiating pain, I couldn’t stop giggling because I just kept replaying this scene in my head. And I’m pretty sure the nurse thought I was delirious because I was giggling so much, and when I tried to explain she just looked at me like I was crazy and said, “we’ll try to get that pain medication in here as soon as possible, hon.”

38 Weeks: Kidney Stones, but No Kid

Seriously? My kidney stones are back. Not as excrutiatingly painful as last time, but STILL! So, I’m “relaxing” as much as I can and drinking TONS of water again. Although I think I’ve really been drinking tons of water anyway, but whatever. I have my vicodin on hand as well, but I’m trying not to take it because I really don’t want to just sleep through my days.

At my 38 week appointment yesterday, doc told me that she wants me to get an epidural as soon as I check in during labor, for 2 reasons:

  1. I’m prone to kidney stones (clearly). If I get dehydrated at all during labor, I could be looking at dealing with both the pain of kidney stones AND the pain of labor… yuck.
  2. The scars on my cervix that were originally preventing me from getting pregnant in the first place are going to be “uncooperative” when I go into labor and she suspects that I will NOT dilate even though I’ll be advancing in labor… so she’ll probably have to manually dilate me, which will be, in her words, excrutiating and awful. She also told me that when I do check into the hospital, I need to have them call her right away because they’ll try to send me home since I won’t be dilated. Eeek!

So I guess that takes away the guesswork. I’ll be getting the drugs. I’m a little disappointed because I was kind of hoping to get through labor without them so my husband could be all proud of me, but I’m seeing less and less reason to put myself through that pain when my labor is looking like it might be more abnormal. Bummer. But not. :)

So… now we wait.

Due Date: 9 more days.

Apparently women don’t qualify as “real” experts

Me: Honey, I’m reading this book and the author says that taking fertility medications can be a very emotional experience for a woman.

Adam: uh-huh. *turning the tv up louder*

Me: It says that when I have my emotional outburts that seem irrational, you should just agree with me.

Adam: yeah ok.

Me: What do you mean, ‘yeah ok’? I’m trying to be serious here!

Adam: Uh yeah, but I can’t take that seriously.

Me: Why??

Adam: Because that book was obviously written by a woman.

Since when are real women who have been through and/or treat fertility issues not qualified to give advice? *sigh* :)

6 Days Early? Really, what’s the difference?

I know that I should be like, the perfect audience for this commercial because I should agree that one day is SO MUCH TIME… but…

…is it just me or does the new First Response Pregnancy Test commercial remind anyone else of the 7-Minute Abs clip from There’s Something About Mary? “No one gets a good ab workout in six minutes!!”

I can’t find the FR commercial, but this is the gist: “New! FIRST RESPONSE® Early Result Pregnancy Test can now detect the pregnancy hormone, hCG, 6 days before your missed period.  Patent pending, Polymeric Amplification Technology (PAT) allows only FIRST RESPONSE® to detect the pregnancy hormone at lower levels than ever before. It is the ONLY pregnancy test that detects the pregnancy hormone 6 days before the day of the missed period, which is one day sooner than any other test on the market.” (Taken from the First Response website)

It just sounds like such a silly selling point to me. If you’re pregnant, you’re pregnant, and you’ll know when you don’t get your damn period. Eh? Why pay more money? Hell, I stock up on Dollar Store tests, and I still get a negative response whether I use those or the $12 tests each month. Booo.

It’s Like They Know Me

I thought about dissecting this and writing about how each point affects me, blah blah blah… but I don’t think I need to. This poster was clearly created for ME.

Doc called today to say my Day-21 blood test results came back, and that it doesn’t look as though I responded very well to the first round of Clomid. My progesterone levels are still very low, and don’t indicate that I even ovulated this month. There’s still a small chance that I could be pregnant this cycle, but judging by my regular PMS symptoms that began today I’d venture to guess not.  

I’m SO looking forward to more drugs, needles, and emotion. Next month I’ll continue on the same dose of Clomid I took this month (50mg), and if we don’t have any luck that cycle then I’ll be given a higher dose.

And my POOR, POOR husband continues to complain daily about how he can’t eat spicy foods because he’s been forbidden by our doctor to take heartburn medication. *tear* 

Will somebody just bring me a damn Kleenex already?!

This week the fertility medication I’m taking (Clomid) is affecting me a *little* more strongly than it did last week. LAST week I was all, “I just started taking my pills but I feek okay besides a few migraines, and I haven’t really been crazy at all!”

THIS week, so far, I have cried at the all following things (it’s amazing that I haven’t lost 10lbs of water-weight):

  • A funny passage in Marley & Me (I’m reading the book)
  • A sad passage in Marley & Me
  • The beautiful mountains in Alaska
  • The fact that I even have to take fertility medication at age 28
  • Missing my mom (who lives in Idaho)
  • iTunes
  • Missing my sisters (who live in Idaho)
  • Missing all of the rest of my family (who live in Idaho)
  • How I hate Idaho for stealing my family
  • How much I truly love my husband
  • The fact that my husband built me a snowmachine with hot pink accents
  • My dog. Just in general – and how lucky I am to have her (she’s amazing)
  • How much I love my job
  • How much I hate my job
  • A migraine headache
  • Missing my grandma (who passed away in 2008, and every time I make spaghetti I think about her because she was amazing and Italian)
  • Keeping up with the Kardashians (this one came out of nowhere)
  • A sweet comment on Facebook from my cousin about the SuperWife blog
  • How much I love my friend Sam, and how proud of her I am
  • iTunes
  • How I am equally happy/jealous that my friend Jen is having a baby
  • How I am ashamed at myself for being jealous of anyone’s anything when I have so much in my life to be thankful for
  • How I have so much in my life to be thankful for
  • My teddy bear
  • iTunes
  • A funny baby video on youtube
  • Law & Order: SVU
  • How Adam probably thinks I’m crazy
  • American Idol
  • When Adam told me I was crazy
  • A projector screen fiasco
  • iTunes
  • How if I actually did get pregnant this month, I would be due on Halloween, and how awesome that would be because I would totally dress up to go into labor
  • A baby laughing at the grocery store
  • A bad dream
  • A good dream
  • My other friend Jen’s good dream
  • My nailpolish
  • A cute pair of baby socks I saw today

I think I’m doing okay, though… right?