The Adventures of Superwife

This toy… seems harmless enough, yes? When the red button is pushed, it blows a gentle flow of air that “pops” bright colored plastic balls out of the trunk with barely any pressure at all. Ellie LOVES it.

Word to the wise: do NOT leave your mischievous toddler with this toy unattended. Because it’s *possible* that she could think that objects other than the included plastic balls will fit in that trunk. And it’s *possible* that other objects might include Cheerios. And it’s *possible* that too many Cheerios in the trunk will clog up the system so that air won’t blow out of it anymore.

Then, you might walk in to the living room and see that the toy isn’t working, and it’s *possible* that you’ll turn it upside down and dump one or two Cheerios out of it. You might think you’ve fixed the problem, and it’s *possible* that you’ll put your face over the trunk hole to look inside.

Now I’m not saying its a definite, but as you have your eye one centimeter from the trunk, it is *extremely possible* that your toddler will push that effing red button.

When If this happens, it’s *probable* that the rest of those Cheerios that kidlet shoved in there will shoot out of the toy like bullets and pelt you directly in the face. Cheerio crumbs might get in your eyes and under your contacts, making you throw drop the toy and dance around like a baboon while trying not to yell obscenities.

And then… it’s 100% INEVITABLE that your toddler will laugh hysterically. And maybe clap.

(This public service announcement has been brought to you by Superwife. You’ve been warned.)