OMG y’all… This hoarding thing has been happening for YEARS and I haven’t been paying attention!! Adam has a disease! This is a blog post I wrote in May of 2009 (over 2 years ago!!) when Adam and I were moving into our new house. I think it might be a pattern… Eeeeeeek!
For the past few weeks, Adam and I have been participating in the loving act of ripping eachother’s heads off arguing about retarded back massager chairs that no one has used in 2 years packing up our beautiful belongings because we bought a new house!
Amongst spending hours trying to figure out WHEN THE HECK we accumulated all of this crap (who has two quesadilla makers?? who even has one?), I have many times been scolded for “keeping too much crap.” Because, apparently, “women never get rid of anything.”
May I present to you… things I have found while packing that I would have immediately chucked into the trash if my husband hadn’t whined and whined and whined for me to keep them:
- 72 Sharpie markers. All black.
- An entire drawer full of random knives. Probably like, 45 of them. Some that look like scary “I’ll gut you” hunting knives, which in no way will ever be needed in my kitchen. This is in addition to the two knife blocks we have on the counter.
- 24 lighters. We’re not smokers… and no one has that many candles. No one.
- 13 pairs of nail clippers. Only one of which is mine.
- 67 shot glasses. Not including the 35 from the cabin. Please, someone tell me… when are we EVER going to need 67 shot glasses at the same time? Have we ever had 67 people do a simultaneous shot at our house?
Meanwhile, the pile I’ve created of “crap to get rid of” is slowly taking over the entire downstairs family room.
Interesting, how I get verbally abused for keeping 3 boxes full of shoes that I wear, yet when I try to throw away dry Sharpie markers, rusty knives, half-empty lighters, dull nail clippers and shot glasses from cities we’ve never been to — ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE.