My, How Things Have Changed… for ME.

Posted by SuperwifeJenny on January 19th, 2011. Filed under: Ellie Lynn, Marriage:Not for wussies, Shit My Husband Does, SuperMom, SUPERWIFE JENNY.

Fast Household Morning Routines BEFORE Baby:

Adam:

  1. shut off ridiculously loud and annoying alarm 3 or 4 times before opening eyes
  2. play Words With Friends on iphone for 15 minutes
  3. start car from bathroom with handy remote start
  4. shower, shave and get dressed within 15 minutes
  5. head out the door to work, approximately 20-30 minutes after final alarm went off

Jenny:

  1. listen to Adam’s ridiculously loud and annoying alarm 3 or 4 times
  2. shut off own gentle, soothing alarm 3 or 4 times before opening eyes
  3. go downstairs to let out and feed the dog
  4. put on robe, jacket and boots; walk outside to start car
  5. shower, moisturize, blow dry/style hair, put on makeup in 45 min
  6. eat cereal or other breakfast quickly
  7. get work things together
  8. get dressed, spritz perfume, and head out the door to work (within about 1hr of final alarm)

Fast Household Morning Routines AFTER Baby:

Adam:

  1. shut off ridiculously loud and annoying alarm 3 or 4 times before opening eyes
  2. play Words With Friends on iphone for 15 minutes
  3. start car from bathroom with handy remote start
  4. shower, shave and get dressed within 15 minutes
  5. head out the door to work, approximately 20-30 minutes after final alarm went off

Jenny:

  1. wake up at 3am to change baby. bring baby to bed with me. fall asleep with a boob in her mouth
  2. wake up at 3:30am to put boob back in baby’s mouth
  3. wake up at 4am because baby sneezed
  4. wake up at 5am to put other boob in baby’s mouth
  5. wake up at 5:15am to put boob back in baby’s mouth
  6. hit snooze when alarm goes off at 6am… finally get out of bed between 6:45-7am.
  7. change baby. soothe baby. make bottle for baby.
  8. stick bottle in baby’s mouth and jump in shower. race through washing face and hair.
  9. run downstairs to let out and feed dog
  10. thrown on boots to go start the car
  11. burp baby
  12. hastily blowdry hair… sometimes curl or straighten. most of the time – ponytail
  13. soothe baby
  14. apply makeup
  15. change baby
  16. dress baby
  17. soothe baby
  18. dress, undress, dress, undress… continue until semi-non-fat outfit is found
  19. make coffee and sometimes eggs
  20. soothe baby, try to find missing pacifier
  21. already late; burn tongue trying to gulp coffee
  22. put baby in carseat
  23. soothe baby
  24. pack diaper bag, work bags, purse, gym bag and baby into car
  25. turn on car toys so baby has something to look at on the car ride
  26. soothe baby
  27. walk around car, fall on slick driveway while getting into drivers seat
  28. drop off baby at aunt’s house
  29. soothe mommy after leaving baby
  30. finally head to work, approximately 2-3 hours after alarm goes off
Did this make you laugh? Cry? Feel something? Leave a comment and let me know, or subscribe to the RSS feed to have future posts delivered to your feed reader! Cheers!

4 Responses to My, How Things Have Changed… for ME.

  1. Danya Sanchez

    I have a feeling this will be me, but add an extra dog.

  2. Shona Byrd

    It’s not just me then! yay!

  3. Granma

    Suggestions! Both shut off alarms and get up together. Adam instead of games w/buddies FEED THE DOG, LET HER OUT AND MAKE HER HAPPY!

    Adam, before you leave make sure Jenny’s car is nice and warm and everything’s ready for her to just load Ellie and go! AND – be sure the driveway has ice melt on it before she walks on it.

    Jenny – pay more attention to placement of ‘boobies’! Baby might not need soothing so much!

    Jenny — Pick out and lay outfit ready for next morning!

    Now tell me I’m a fussy old lady…….. note above I said “Suggestions”….. One day you will look back and say “Now why didn’t we do ……..”. You’ll all three survive!

    Love you, GGN

    p.s Don’t ever leave without the morning Kiss Bye-Bye-!

  4. Diana

    THIS post is my absolute favorite because it is so true haha. Although, I haven’t had to do this much lately (because I stay at home) but it is HILARIOUS!

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge
11111111111111111