The Adventures of Superwife

Though I haven’t really been active with my Etsy store recently… I am pleased to announce that Superwife’s hats and hair clippies are now available for sale at The Baby Store Toys and More in Wasilla, AK!

The Baby Store features gently used and new kids clothing and gear- which I have to say, I’m totally into. Baby clothes and toys are SO expensive for the amount of use kids get out of them- I bought Ellie’s whole vacation wardrobe and most of her bigger toys (an her high chair!) second-hand and probably saved well over $200. No joke.

Check the store out on Facebook, and pop in for some great deals (and cute new hats and clippies!).

This toy… seems harmless enough, yes? When the red button is pushed, it blows a gentle flow of air that “pops” bright colored plastic balls out of the trunk with barely any pressure at all. Ellie LOVES it.

Word to the wise: do NOT leave your mischievous toddler with this toy unattended. Because it’s *possible* that she could think that objects other than the included plastic balls will fit in that trunk. And it’s *possible* that other objects might include Cheerios. And it’s *possible* that too many Cheerios in the trunk will clog up the system so that air won’t blow out of it anymore.

Then, you might walk in to the living room and see that the toy isn’t working, and it’s *possible* that you’ll turn it upside down and dump one or two Cheerios out of it. You might think you’ve fixed the problem, and it’s *possible* that you’ll put your face over the trunk hole to look inside.

Now I’m not saying its a definite, but as you have your eye one centimeter from the trunk, it is *extremely possible* that your toddler will push that effing red button.

When If this happens, it’s *probable* that the rest of those Cheerios that kidlet shoved in there will shoot out of the toy like bullets and pelt you directly in the face. Cheerio crumbs might get in your eyes and under your contacts, making you throw drop the toy and dance around like a baboon while trying not to yell obscenities.

And then… it’s 100% INEVITABLE that your toddler will laugh hysterically. And maybe clap.

(This public service announcement has been brought to you by Superwife. You’ve been warned.)

I repinned this delicious-looking dried strawberry recipe on Pinterest the other day, and then I thought I’d try it since I had strawberries in the fridge.

The recipe said 3 hours in the oven at 150 degrees. Ummm…. NOT EVEN CLOSE. To even *sort of* dry out, it took TEN HOURS. And then they were disgusting anyway.

F@$&ing Pinterest.

So my boss and I are in Fairbanks this summer, where it gets REAAAAALLLLY cold in the in the winter. I mean REEEEALLLLY cold. Like, -50 degrees. Seriously. Ok so anyway… we’re talking to this pharmacy intern who says she’s from Louisiana and is leaving in September. I mention she’s missing the “best part of the year” (winter), and she giggles and tells me it’s okay because one of her friends made her go into this “winter simulation chamber” — a touristy thing, it’s a room that’s like -30 degrees to show outsiders what the winter weather feels like.

So… cut to dinner later that evening with my boss.

Boss: So, it looks like we may have a few extra hours to kill before the flight tomorrow. What is there to do around here?

Me: Oh, well, we could have lunch at Lavelle’s, then we could go to Pioneer Park and do a little bit of touristy stuff… oh hey! Maybe we could go to that stimulation room! ACK! *chokes on wine, almost spews out nose* … I mean SIMULATION ROOM. SIMULATION. Oh god, haha, oops. SIMulation.

Boss: Um, that sounds fun. Could we just skip lunch and go straight there? Haha!

Yeah, I’m that awesome. Maybe less wine at dinner with the boss next time. For the record though, he blushed too. :)

Thought I’d implement a new feature! I’m a little bit of a bookworm, and I’ve gotten quite a few book suggestion requests from those of you who know how often I try to have my nose buried in a book – so I’ll try to keep you all updated on what I’m reading. :) These days I only have time to read while I’m at the gym (I use the kindle app on my iPad), but I enjoy that because when I find a great book it motivates me to go back and work out more!

Most recently I finished the three books in the Hunger Games series – it’s YA, and I definitely recommend. I wasn’t too hot on the last book, but it does close everything up nicely. The Hunger Games is a dystopian story about a teen girl who is forced to compete to the death in a televised, government-controlled survivor battle. It’s fast-paced and definitely not boring! 

1. The Hunger Games – Suzanne Collins
2. Catching Fire – Suzanne Collins
3. Mockingjay – Suzanne Collins

Because I’m on a YA kick right now, I’m currently reading Rick Riordan’s continuation of the Percy Jackson series. I just finished the first one, and started the second book while on the elliptical yesterday. If you’ve read the original Percy Jackson books, you’ll enjoy seeing him again in the new series (and if you haven’t read the original books, do that first – they’re great!). All of these books are about greek gods and demi-gods, and battles and saving the world, lol – I enjoyed trying to remember all of the stories about the Greeks from my high school and college days, as Riordan does a great job of working in pretty accurate Greek mythology.

1. The Lost Hero (Heroes of Olympus) - Rick Riordan
2. The Son of Neptune (Heroes of Olympus) – Rick Riordan

So… what are you reading? Any good suggestions? :)

My husband doesn’t read books.

Well, not real books. He does, however, love the Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader books – you know, the ones with a ton of random facts. I even bought him a few Bathroom Reader CDs a while back to listen to while he goes on long drives for work. He loves these books so much that he’s pretty much the Random Trivia King Genius of the World. NO. JOKE. You want him on your team if you’re playing a trivia game… he WILL win.

Anyway… a few days ago he discovered the Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader iPhone app. Oh joy – random trivia 24/7. 

So, the other night we’re laying in bed. I’m falling asleep, Adam is playing on his phone. All of a sudden, breaking the silence at one o’clock in the morning…

“Hey, you wanna hear about aardvarks?”

Every year since I’ve been without my mom during the holidays (since 2005), decorating my house has been rough – emotionally. I always cry while I hang family ornaments on my tree, and listening to Christmas music just tugs at my heartstrings. On top of that, Adam gets all grinchy during Christmas because it’s a fairly stressful time for him at work, so I always end up decorating BY MYSELF. How fun.

This year, however, Adam offered to help.

HOLD. THE. PHONE. What?

Yep… SuperHubs actually made time just to help Ellie and I decorate our Christmas tree. –pause for collective “awwwwwww”– I was ridiculously happy to spend an evening at home with just my family – Mommy, Daddy, Ellie & Tali. Gives me warm fuzzies just thinking about it. :)

A few gems from that evening:

Adam: Ohp! Gotta do an egg.

Me: What? An egg?

Adam: Duh, I do it every year.

Me: You’ve NEVER done “an egg” – what does that even mean?

Adam: It means cool. Doesn’t it look cool?

Me: I’ve never even heard of this, EVER.

Adam: I do this every year. Call my brother.

—I call Alex–

Me: Hey Bro! Did you guys decorate your tree yet?

Alex: No not yet.

Me: Oh, well are you gonna do an egg this year?

Alex: WTF does that mean?

Me: WINNER.

Also, by the way, the egg IS cool. Adam hollowed out an egg from the fridge and then put a hole in it and attached it to a light on the tree. It IS cool… I’ve just never ever seen him do it before. Being that this is the FIRST YEAR EVER that he’s helped decorate the tree, I don’t see how he could have done this “every year, duh.”

Okay, in the spirit of equality… here is one where I’M the loser, lol:

Adam: Do we have to hang all of these bells? There’s too many bells on this tree. Isn’t there only supposed to be one? Like, every time a bell rings an angel gets it’s wings?

Me: This isn’t Peter Pan, ‘tard.

Adam: Um, it’s from ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’, ‘tard.

Me: Huh. What was Peter Pan then?

Adam: HAVE SOME MORE WINE.

Yeeeeaaaaaah. I *may* have been drinking.