Mom-Cast: A Morning at the Superhouse

Posted by SuperwifeJenny on March 31st, 2014
I think that if I attached a microphone to my shirt and recorded everything I say from 7am-10am, on a weekend when I’m the only adult in the house with two munchkins… It would make a really good podcast. Hilarious probably. It’s just a constant stream of ridiculousness that comes out of my mouth.

“Gooooooooood mor— aw dang is that poop?”

 

“Please don’t pull your sister around by the neck of her shirt.”

 

“Purple? Or blue? Purple? Purple? Purple? Blue? Blue? Can you …please just pick some pants?”

 

“Nonoonono standing on the table. No walking on the table. No dancing on the table!!”

 

“Pancakes are not brushes. They go in your mouth. No. No. No. No it’s not a brush. No.”

 

“Don’t touch the remote controls. Don’t – NONO! No remotes! NONO!”

 

“Why is there yogurt in your hair?”

 

“Did you pee?”

 

“Don’t eat crayons. Crayons are not food. Don’t e–NO!”

 

“Do you want a juice? Red or green? We don’t have blue. Red or green. No blue. We don’t have blue. There is no blue. There’s no blue.”

 

“What is that on your pants? Chapstick? Where did you find Chapstick?”

 

“Ohmigosh DON’T STAND ON THAT!!”

 

“Ewwwwyuckyyuckyyuckyewwww nononono we don’t touch the plunger!”

 

“Why is there a book in the toilet?”

 

“Who gave the dog fruit snacks?”

 

“I’m not sure you need THAT much toilet paper, sweetie.”

 

“You can’t brush your hair if it’s in a ponytail.”

 

“Please don’t dance on the stairs, you’re scaring Mommy.”

 

“Don’t put that in your mou– NO NOT ‘mmmmm’ THAT’S A HAIR CLIPPY. No ‘mmmmm’. Yucky.”

 

“Why are you naked?”

 

“Did you get that out of the garbage? Ew.”

 

“How many cookies did you eat? 3? 4? 10? Did you count? Why didn’t you ask me first?”

 

“Can I please have that? That’s Mommy’s. We don’t play with those (Sharpie) markers, they’re Mommy Markers.”

 

“Play-doh is for playing. Don’t put it in your mou– yuck! YUCK! Spit it out! Spit!”

 

“HOT! THAT’S HOT! DON’T TOUCH THAT! HOT COFFEE!”

 

“Nononononononononono NONONONONONO JAMIE!!! Don’t touch the DVD player!”

 

“Yes you can jump on the couch.”

 

“Keep your mouth shut if you’re going to jump off the couch, you might bite your tongue.”

 

“Did you bite your tongue?”

 

“Did you hurt your foot? Does it hurt really bad? Should we cut it off?”

 

“Honey I was just kidding. I would never cut you. I promise. No, I will never cut off your foot. I PROMISE.”

 

“I promise I’ll never cut off Jamie’s foot either. I won’t cut anyone’s foot off, ever.”

 

“SINGALONG!!!! LET IT GOOOOO– oh, I’m not allowed to sing? Why? I’m too OLD?”

 

“Yes you can have some of my water. Just don’t squee– *sigh*… here’s a towel.”

 

“Please stop handing me your boogers. You know where the tissue is.”

 

“What is that? A booger? Why are you just standing there holding it?”

 

“Do I hear running water? Why is the tub running? WHY IS THE TUB RUNNING?”

 

“Are your panties on backward?”

 

“WHY IS THIS WET?”

 

“Is it naptime yet?”

 

And on and on and on… would you listen? If I could ever find the time to edit and publish a weekly recording like this, I feel like it might be a hit! :)

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Little Fish

Posted by SuperwifeJenny on March 30th, 2014

I find it a little ironic that my little Jameson is such a water baby. I mean, I was sure she was a boy when I was pregnant. and our boy name is Fisher… and now I’m calling her my “Little Fish” anyway. Funny how that works out, huh? ;)

I CANNOT keep this girl away from water. Any water at all.

Bathtub? Well, that’s a given… she’s climbed in fully clothed on multiple occasions, just because she’s too impatient to wait threefreakingseconds for me to undress her.

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Sink? She’s almost tall enough now to stand on the stool and turn on the faucet… almost. For now though, she just stands on the stool and screams “TEEEEEEEEETH” at me until I turn on the water and hand her a toothbrush.

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Pool? Duh. And she has no fear – always trying to climb out of her floaty, and jumping in without a life vest on like it’s no big deal at all.

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Water bottle? Don’t even try to drink one around her. Don’t. Even.

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Dog dish? The most frustrating obsession of all. The word “no” has absolutely no effect on this child when it comes to the dog dishes. She wants to SWIM in Tali’s water.

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I kid you not, people… she just walked up to me AS I WAS WRITING THIS, threw an empty cup into my lap and yelled, “WAWA!!”!

My Little Fish. My cup runneth over. <3

Growing into Angry Birds

Posted by SuperwifeJenny on March 10th, 2014

The Angry Birds obsession has hit our household, and my girls are preeeeetty much in love with anything Angry Birds-related. I bought Ellie a swimsuit with the red bird on it, and a set of 5 pairs of socks. I had to buy myself the same socks, and now every morning when she wakes up she asks, “Mom what socks should we wear this morning?” – and then refuses to wear anything that doesn’t make our feet match (it makes my morning decisions just *that* much more difficult, having to remember that I MUST choose socks for which Ellie has a match). Anyhoo… at the store the other evening, I was treated to this lovely (and completely innocent) outburst:

Ellie: MOM! Angry Birds panties!!!

Me: Hmmm, well… These are just too big for you sweetie.

Ellie: Well when my ‘gina gets bigger can I get them?

(Most of the time I can stifle my laughter. This… was not one of those times.)

(AND she was still asking the same question like 5 minutes later in the milk aisle, and I finally had to be like “ummmm when your little booty gets bigger we can get them… Can we please talk about something else???”)

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New Year’s Revolution: Let It Go

Posted by SuperwifeJenny on January 9th, 2014
Listen up, ladies…
 
I occasionally feed my kids hotdogs. I work outside the home. I yell. I spank. I serve gluten-riddled meals to my family. I rarely find the time to work out. I let my kids watch TV and play with iPads (sometimes simultaneously!). My hall closet is one straight out of a cartoon – I have to slowly inch it open, blindly throw something into it and then slam it closed with all of my body weight. There is dirt between the tiles in my shower. I buy my kids too many toys. I post funny photos of my kids online. We don’t eat organic (unless by accident). I quit breastfeeding both of my girls before 4 months and fed them the poison that is formula. I use disposable diapers. I vaccinate
 
I’m so freaking sick of all of the posts that have been popping up online trying to make me feel guilty for ALL of these things. For that reason, this year I’m not making ANY resolutions. I’m just not. I have too many goals and accountabilities at work (yes, my job that takes me away from raising my children like a proper SAHM, *gasp*), and I’m just over trying to implement that crap at home. No more “weight goals” or “yell less” or “organize all the things” or ”hands-free mama” bullshit. 
 
This year, I’m taking a cue from Ellie’s very favorite movie (and current obsession), Disney’s “Frozen”. While driving in the car recently, listening to my 3yo innocently sing the words to Queen Elsa’s powerhouse song, I found myself in tears. These three profound words make up the mantra I’ll be repeating to myself this year… 
 
LET. IT. GO.
 
2014 for Superwife holds no “resolutions”, but a “revolution”, rather: I am doing just fine.
This year, I will do what I do when and how I do it. I will parent how I parent, cook how I cook, and live how I live. And that is all. And as for all of the stressful nonsense.. let it go. 
 
It’s so beautifully, magically simple. 
 
(Thanks, Disney.)
 
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Jewelry in Candles GIVEAWAY

Posted by SuperwifeJenny on November 27th, 2013

WINNER UPDATE: Commenter JEN, congratulations! You’ve got your apple harvest candle wish – hope you get something awesome inside! :) Please email me your shipping info and confirm that you want the apple candle, and I’ll have Julie send it your way! (And then when you find out what jewelry is in your candle, please let us know!)

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Hey friends! With Christmas just around the corner, Julie from Jewelry in Candles would like to offer up a FREE candle (or tart) to one lucky reader!

If you haven’t seen these things yet, check them out. They are so neat! Basically, it’s a super yummy-smelling soy candle that has a unique piece of jewelry in it. They’re nicely wrapped so they don’t get all waxy, and each candle has something different in it – I’ve even seen a Tiffany necklace come out of one! Check out some of these examples:

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So here’s the deal… Julie is giving away one free candle or tart of your choice. All you have to do is go check out the website, like her Facebook page, and leave a comment here telling me which scent you think you would like the best.

See the Jewelry in Candles website HERE.

Check out the Facebook page HERE.

Now tell me what you think! :)

I’ll choose a random commenter on Wednesday, December 4 to win a free candle or tart! Good luck, lovelies!

Also, for those of you who might not want to wait, there is a great special for Jewelry in Candles going on right now. Need some Christmas ideas?

Buy 2 candles or tarts- get 15% off  (Code: SMELLSGREAT)
Buy 3 candles or tarts- get 20% off (Code: SHOPWITHME)

This time of year…

Posted by SuperwifeJenny on October 29th, 2013

This is the time of year when I allow myself to go back to that night. I allow myself to remember everything about the moment my ears were assaulted with the news, and the moments immediately following. Adam and I, collapsing into a tangled heap on our hardwood floor; Tali jumping all over us while my mom tried to control her. My fingers trembling as I struggled to dial my mother-in-law’s phone number. Choking out the words and trying not to vomit.

“Dirk’s been shot.”

I have days every now and then where I’m driving in my car and tears just start falling, or I’m watching my kids tickle each other and tears just start falling, or I glance at a picture of him on my living room wall and tears just start falling. I can usually swipe them away quickly before anyone notices, but that becomes increasingly difficult come this time of year. The beautiful, crisp, yellow leaves that cover the ground right now? They remind me of that night, that time of year. Halloween, unfortunately, reminds me of that night, and that time of year. I still have the package of paint I purchased because Adam had begged me to let him draw an eyeball on my giant pregnant belly for Halloween that year. We obviously never got to that, and now the paint sits untouched, unopened, in the back of a cabinet where I keep random supplies. I came across it when I pulled out the pumpkin-carving tools last week, and… tears just started falling.

I’ve spent a lot of time being “okay” with everything, and thankful that Dirk is in a better place, and comforted knowing that we had a wonderful guardian angel, and blah, blah blah. Right now… this time of year… I just want him here. I MISS HIM. I want to tell him all of the ridiculous things Ellie says EVERY DAY, and I want him to melt just like Adam does whenever he sees Jameson, and I want him to tell me all about how I’m being too lenient with my little bratty toddler, and I want to show him the picture of Ellie’s first fish, and I wanted him to be there for Ellie’s first fish, dammit.

I want him here for me, and I want him here for my girls, but most of all I want my husband to have his dad. Here. Now. Alive.

I want him to hug me again, just like he did the last time I saw him - a great big giant bear-hug, where he picked me up off the ground even though I was 9 months pregnant.

I just… really, really miss him.

It’ll get easier, come January, I know. It always does. We’ll be going into our fourth year without him now… but come this time of year, it always seems like yesterday.

Go hug your families. Great big giant bear-hugs.

 

 

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Built Baby Collection Review

Posted by SuperwifeJenny on October 28th, 2013

BUILT has launched their new Baby Collection just in time for baby shower season (seriously, everyone I know is popping out a kid or two in the next few months)! Along with a few really cute diaper bags and other products, they are offering the Bottle Buddy One Bottle Tote for $11.99 , the Two Bottle Tote for $16.99 and the Three Bottle Tote for $24.99. The neoprene material is stretchy, stain-resistant, machine washable and has a zip closure. Plus, it keeps the bottles warm (or cold) for quite a while.

I received the Three Bottle Tote and a Single Pacifier Holder ($7.99), both in Baby Blue Stripe print, to review. My initial reaction was that the tote was fairly small, but you guys – it holds a lot! I no longer have “new-mommy-diaper-bag-syndrome” (where one feels the need to pack up the entire house into a diaper bag), so this little tote has actually been perfect for my quick trips to the grocery store, a friend’s house for dinner, or Bouncin’ Bears to wear the kids out so Mommy can enjoy a glass of wine or 4 at night.

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I’ve been keeping the Three Bottle Tote ready to grab with small package of wipes, 4 diapers and a tube of A&D ointment. There really isn’t a reason I would be out long enough to need more than one bottle for Jamie, so when I need to run out the door I make a quick hot bottle, throw it in the tote and pack everyone into the car. It’s been so handy! I love that the neoprene keeps the bottle warm, so I don’t need to worry about finding a bottle warmer or a separate insulated bag to put inside of my diaper bag.

The Pacifier Holder is adorable – Jamie doesn’t use a binky though, so Ellie likes to keep princess fruit snacks in it. Works great!

The entire Built Baby Collection comes in really cute complementary colors, and is made of neoprene (the wetsuit material!). Check everything out online at BuiltNY.com – keep in mind that Christmas is coming up! :)

Happy shopping!

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