BlogHer ’14 – I’m going!

Posted by SuperwifeJenny on July 23rd, 2014

Sorry I’ve been boring lately – apparently this parenting gig takes like, a lot of time and stuff. I’ve realized that it’s kiiiiinda difficult to sit at the computer and blog when I’ve got little people climbing up my leg or asking for snacks or pulling my hair or pulling someone else’s hair or coloring on the dog or eating remote controls or tearing pages out of books and why do I hear running water???

Anyhoo… I’m leaving tonight to go meet MissMolly in San Jose for BlogHer ’14! Damn, I guess I should go pack. Hopefully I’ll learn some neat stuff, meet some neat people and score some cool sh!t to give away to you guys! :)

Although I don’t anticipate meeting any celebrities this time around, YOU JUST NEVER KNOW.Anyone remember my last trip-o-shenanigans(jenanigans?) with Molly? Check out the recap here.

Now everyone please pray that Adam pays attention if he hears running water while I’m gone. Those kids are mischevious!

Also, I know I’ve been quiet here on the ol’ blog… but I do make noise over at the facebook page quite often, so please go follow that page as well! It’s easier to shoot off a few funnies from my phone while grocery shopping  than it is to find a moment at the desktop computer. I’m sure you understand. :)

I'm Going to BlogHer '14!

I'm Going to BlogHer '14!

Spice Box Review – Deluxe Monthly Box

Posted by SuperwifeJenny on May 20th, 2014

I was recently approached by a company called Spicy Subscriptions to do a review of their deluxe monthly Spice Box. I absolutely love monthly boxes – Citrus Lane, Conscious Box,  Birchbox, etc – so of course I agreed!

Just as a quick warning, friends… this is NOT a baby or family-related post. So here goes…

A little basic info about the company and the service: each month, you’ll receive a collection of luxurious romance, intimacy, and beauty products from the Spice Shop. The Premium Spice Box includes 1 Flirty Item, 1-2 Full Sized Products, and 2-4 Trial Sized Products and the Deluxe Spice Box includes 1 Deluxe Item, 1-2 Full Sized Products, 1 Deluxe Accessory, and 2-4 Trial Sized Products. People… this is not kitchen spice. It is BEDROOM SPICE.

Let’s check out what the April Deluxe Spice Box contained…

  • Simply Sensual Massage Candle – $15.99
  • Kama Sutra Lip Fetish Gloss – $15.99
  • Lusty Lacquers Nail Polish – $12.00
  • Wicked Aqua Candy Apple (lube) – $12.99
  • Spicy Subscriptions Spicy Rabbit (not pictured below) – $49.99
  • “Pink” silicone lube sample
  • “Gun Oil” hybrid silicone lube sample
  • TOTAL VALUE OF OVER $100
  • DELUXE BOX MONTHLY COST: $34.99 — a seriously good deal :)

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Okay, so listen… I haven’t purchased anything like this in FOREVER, and I’m pretty sure the last time I was even in a shop that carried these items I was shopping for a bachelorette party gift. And I’ll be honest… this whole box would make an AWESOME gift. The items were well-packaged, a great value, and… “fun” (lol). I have two toddlers who frequently wake at random hours during the night, so let’s just say I haven’t actually *tried* any of these items other than the lip gloss (very cute, and also kinda spicy — has a plumper in it)… so this box actually IS going to make a fabulous bachelorette party gift for one of my girlfriends who is getting married this summer.

Bottom Line: The Deluxe Monthly Spice Box from Spicy Subscriptions is an AWESOME value, and came with a number of really great products. If this is something you’re interested in on a monthly basis, or if you’ve got (close) friends who would appreciate this as a gift,  I definitely recommend. Just maybe don’t let your kiddos open your mail. ;)

Check out the company and subscribe here.

(Disclaimer: Spicy Subscriptions sent me a Deluxe Spice Box to review at no cost; all opinions regarding the product are my own.)

(photos above from glamorable.com and seeshoplove.blogspot.com)

Mom-Cast: A Morning at the Superhouse

Posted by SuperwifeJenny on March 31st, 2014
I think that if I attached a microphone to my shirt and recorded everything I say from 7am-10am, on a weekend when I’m the only adult in the house with two munchkins… It would make a really good podcast. Hilarious probably. It’s just a constant stream of ridiculousness that comes out of my mouth.

“Gooooooooood mor— aw dang is that poop?”

 

“Please don’t pull your sister around by the neck of her shirt.”

 

“Purple? Or blue? Purple? Purple? Purple? Blue? Blue? Can you …please just pick some pants?”

 

“Nonoonono standing on the table. No walking on the table. No dancing on the table!!”

 

“Pancakes are not brushes. They go in your mouth. No. No. No. No it’s not a brush. No.”

 

“Don’t touch the remote controls. Don’t – NONO! No remotes! NONO!”

 

“Why is there yogurt in your hair?”

 

“Did you pee?”

 

“Don’t eat crayons. Crayons are not food. Don’t e–NO!”

 

“Do you want a juice? Red or green? We don’t have blue. Red or green. No blue. We don’t have blue. There is no blue. There’s no blue.”

 

“What is that on your pants? Chapstick? Where did you find Chapstick?”

 

“Ohmigosh DON’T STAND ON THAT!!”

 

“Ewwwwyuckyyuckyyuckyewwww nononono we don’t touch the plunger!”

 

“Why is there a book in the toilet?”

 

“Who gave the dog fruit snacks?”

 

“I’m not sure you need THAT much toilet paper, sweetie.”

 

“You can’t brush your hair if it’s in a ponytail.”

 

“Please don’t dance on the stairs, you’re scaring Mommy.”

 

“Don’t put that in your mou– NO NOT ‘mmmmm’ THAT’S A HAIR CLIPPY. No ‘mmmmm’. Yucky.”

 

“Why are you naked?”

 

“Did you get that out of the garbage? Ew.”

 

“How many cookies did you eat? 3? 4? 10? Did you count? Why didn’t you ask me first?”

 

“Can I please have that? That’s Mommy’s. We don’t play with those (Sharpie) markers, they’re Mommy Markers.”

 

“Play-doh is for playing. Don’t put it in your mou– yuck! YUCK! Spit it out! Spit!”

 

“HOT! THAT’S HOT! DON’T TOUCH THAT! HOT COFFEE!”

 

“Nononononononononono NONONONONONO JAMIE!!! Don’t touch the DVD player!”

 

“Yes you can jump on the couch.”

 

“Keep your mouth shut if you’re going to jump off the couch, you might bite your tongue.”

 

“Did you bite your tongue?”

 

“Did you hurt your foot? Does it hurt really bad? Should we cut it off?”

 

“Honey I was just kidding. I would never cut you. I promise. No, I will never cut off your foot. I PROMISE.”

 

“I promise I’ll never cut off Jamie’s foot either. I won’t cut anyone’s foot off, ever.”

 

“SINGALONG!!!! LET IT GOOOOO– oh, I’m not allowed to sing? Why? I’m too OLD?”

 

“Yes you can have some of my water. Just don’t squee– *sigh*… here’s a towel.”

 

“Please stop handing me your boogers. You know where the tissue is.”

 

“What is that? A booger? Why are you just standing there holding it?”

 

“Do I hear running water? Why is the tub running? WHY IS THE TUB RUNNING?”

 

“Are your panties on backward?”

 

“WHY IS THIS WET?”

 

“Is it naptime yet?”

 

And on and on and on… would you listen? If I could ever find the time to edit and publish a weekly recording like this, I feel like it might be a hit! :)

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Little Fish

Posted by SuperwifeJenny on March 30th, 2014

I find it a little ironic that my little Jameson is such a water baby. I mean, I was sure she was a boy when I was pregnant. and our boy name is Fisher… and now I’m calling her my “Little Fish” anyway. Funny how that works out, huh? ;)

I CANNOT keep this girl away from water. Any water at all.

Bathtub? Well, that’s a given… she’s climbed in fully clothed on multiple occasions, just because she’s too impatient to wait threefreakingseconds for me to undress her.

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Sink? She’s almost tall enough now to stand on the stool and turn on the faucet… almost. For now though, she just stands on the stool and screams “TEEEEEEEEETH” at me until I turn on the water and hand her a toothbrush.

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Pool? Duh. And she has no fear – always trying to climb out of her floaty, and jumping in without a life vest on like it’s no big deal at all.

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Water bottle? Don’t even try to drink one around her. Don’t. Even.

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Dog dish? The most frustrating obsession of all. The word “no” has absolutely no effect on this child when it comes to the dog dishes. She wants to SWIM in Tali’s water.

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I kid you not, people… she just walked up to me AS I WAS WRITING THIS, threw an empty cup into my lap and yelled, “WAWA!!”!

My Little Fish. My cup runneth over. <3

Growing into Angry Birds

Posted by SuperwifeJenny on March 10th, 2014

The Angry Birds obsession has hit our household, and my girls are preeeeetty much in love with anything Angry Birds-related. I bought Ellie a swimsuit with the red bird on it, and a set of 5 pairs of socks. I had to buy myself the same socks, and now every morning when she wakes up she asks, “Mom what socks should we wear this morning?” – and then refuses to wear anything that doesn’t make our feet match (it makes my morning decisions just *that* much more difficult, having to remember that I MUST choose socks for which Ellie has a match). Anyhoo… at the store the other evening, I was treated to this lovely (and completely innocent) outburst:

Ellie: MOM! Angry Birds panties!!!

Me: Hmmm, well… These are just too big for you sweetie.

Ellie: Well when my ‘gina gets bigger can I get them?

(Most of the time I can stifle my laughter. This… was not one of those times.)

(AND she was still asking the same question like 5 minutes later in the milk aisle, and I finally had to be like “ummmm when your little booty gets bigger we can get them… Can we please talk about something else???”)

angry b panties

New Year’s Revolution: Let It Go

Posted by SuperwifeJenny on January 9th, 2014
Listen up, ladies…
 
I occasionally feed my kids hotdogs. I work outside the home. I yell. I spank. I serve gluten-riddled meals to my family. I rarely find the time to work out. I let my kids watch TV and play with iPads (sometimes simultaneously!). My hall closet is one straight out of a cartoon – I have to slowly inch it open, blindly throw something into it and then slam it closed with all of my body weight. There is dirt between the tiles in my shower. I buy my kids too many toys. I post funny photos of my kids online. We don’t eat organic (unless by accident). I quit breastfeeding both of my girls before 4 months and fed them the poison that is formula. I use disposable diapers. I vaccinate
 
I’m so freaking sick of all of the posts that have been popping up online trying to make me feel guilty for ALL of these things. For that reason, this year I’m not making ANY resolutions. I’m just not. I have too many goals and accountabilities at work (yes, my job that takes me away from raising my children like a proper SAHM, *gasp*), and I’m just over trying to implement that crap at home. No more “weight goals” or “yell less” or “organize all the things” or ”hands-free mama” bullshit. 
 
This year, I’m taking a cue from Ellie’s very favorite movie (and current obsession), Disney’s “Frozen”. While driving in the car recently, listening to my 3yo innocently sing the words to Queen Elsa’s powerhouse song, I found myself in tears. These three profound words make up the mantra I’ll be repeating to myself this year… 
 
LET. IT. GO.
 
2014 for Superwife holds no “resolutions”, but a “revolution”, rather: I am doing just fine.
This year, I will do what I do when and how I do it. I will parent how I parent, cook how I cook, and live how I live. And that is all. And as for all of the stressful nonsense.. let it go. 
 
It’s so beautifully, magically simple. 
 
(Thanks, Disney.)
 
 frozen_elsa-wide

Jewelry in Candles GIVEAWAY

Posted by SuperwifeJenny on November 27th, 2013

WINNER UPDATE: Commenter JEN, congratulations! You’ve got your apple harvest candle wish – hope you get something awesome inside! :) Please email me your shipping info and confirm that you want the apple candle, and I’ll have Julie send it your way! (And then when you find out what jewelry is in your candle, please let us know!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Hey friends! With Christmas just around the corner, Julie from Jewelry in Candles would like to offer up a FREE candle (or tart) to one lucky reader!

If you haven’t seen these things yet, check them out. They are so neat! Basically, it’s a super yummy-smelling soy candle that has a unique piece of jewelry in it. They’re nicely wrapped so they don’t get all waxy, and each candle has something different in it – I’ve even seen a Tiffany necklace come out of one! Check out some of these examples:

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So here’s the deal… Julie is giving away one free candle or tart of your choice. All you have to do is go check out the website, like her Facebook page, and leave a comment here telling me which scent you think you would like the best.

See the Jewelry in Candles website HERE.

Check out the Facebook page HERE.

Now tell me what you think! :)

I’ll choose a random commenter on Wednesday, December 4 to win a free candle or tart! Good luck, lovelies!

Also, for those of you who might not want to wait, there is a great special for Jewelry in Candles going on right now. Need some Christmas ideas?

Buy 2 candles or tarts- get 15% off  (Code: SMELLSGREAT)
Buy 3 candles or tarts- get 20% off (Code: SHOPWITHME)

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